Learning To Love You
by Viv-B
Summary: 'Learning to Love You' explores the relationship between Michaela and the Cooper children, following the traumatic loss of their mother. With the help of Sully and the town, Michaela and the children are slowly able to grow into a family.
1. Chapter 1

**Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman**

_Learning to Love You_

_Summary_

'Learning to Love You' explores the relationship between Michaela and the Cooper children, following the traumatic loss of their mother. It sees Dr. Mike thrust into motherhood, without any preparation or experience. With the help of Sully and the town, Michaela and the children begin to build a home for themselves, and are slowly able to find acceptance and enrichment in their new lives together.

_Disclaimer:_

Whilst the characters and names portrayed in this fan fiction remain the property of the CBS network, the events depicted are of my own creation. This material is published solely for entertainment and non-commercial enjoyment.

**X.O.X**

**Part 1 – A Loss**

**X.O.X**

**Chapter 1**

The little boy felt his feet pounding against the dusty street, as he ran along the porch from the boarding house.

_Dr. Mike. Dr. Mike._

He looked up just long enough to scan the busy main street. Squinting against the afternoon sunlight, Brian Cooper could make out a horse galloping across the bridge.

He drew a breath and continued running, noticing Dr. Mike's long, flowing hair as the horse moved towards the church.

_Gotta__get__Dr.__Mike._ The thought repeated over and over in his confused mind. Remembering Mrs. Bray's frantic words, the little boy pushed himself harder towards the bridge.

"Help!" he called, spotting the horse circling around the ladies gathered for the quilting circle.

Michaela looked up; she knew that voice. More than that, she could hear the fear in the child's strained tone.

Brian kept running, noticing both Dr. Mike and The Reverend glance over at him.

"Dr. Mike!" he narrowed the intention of his request, as he looked down to see his feet hit the wooden slats of the bridge.

Still running towards her, he continued, "It's Ma!" He stopped once he'd crossed the bridge. "Rattlesnake got her!" The small child's urgent calls carried over to the church.

Michaela kept her eyes fixed on the small boy as he turned and ran back in the direction he'd come.

Without hesitation, she tightened her grip on Bear's reins. Digging her heels into his belly, she pushed him into a trot.

The Reverend barely had time to process the sequence of events, before he found himself running along behind the large stallion.

**X.O.X**

Michaela arrived outside the boarding house, quickly dismounting the horse and slipping her medical bag from the pommel of Bear's saddle.

"She, she's upstairs." Loren secured the horse for her, as Michaela rushed through the front door of the boarding house and up the stairs.

"Oh, thank the Lord. In here. Happened over an hour ago." Maude reached for Michaela's arm and directed her towards the corner room. "Apparently she didn't know it was a rattler straight away. Matthew said it was real small." Michaela managed to push past several concerned townswomen, and arrived by Charlotte's bedside.

"Charlotte?" she whispered, resting her hand lightly on the edge of the mattress as she leant over to inspect the bite mark.

Michaela frowned; the woman's arm was drastically swollen and inflamed. Dropping her black medical bag on the edge of the bed, she looked back up at her friend's face; she was clammy and pale.

She felt for her pulse, checked her pupils and finally pressed her head against Charlotte's chest to listen for a heartbeat.

Her pulse was slow and thready, her heartbeat decreasing further.

Michaela knew at this point, there was little she could do. The venom of the snake's bite had traveled through the bloodstream and had now reached the heart.

She turned around, seeing the petrified worry on the older children's faces. Michaela knew she had to try.

"I need a bucket of cold water, some pillows." Michaela watched Matthew quickly depart the room. She addressed the young girl, "Colleen, I need a glass of cider, I, and," she wavered, hearing the concern in her own voice, "and Brian, I want you to hold your mother's hand for me." The little boy moved quickly around the bed, to reach for his mother's left hand.

The seven year-old child watched, his eyes glued helplessly to his mother's face, as the Doctor and the Reverend fussed around her.

_Please be all right, Ma. Please._

Michaela gently raised Charlotte's right arm to check her pulse once again. Slower still. Carefully, the Reverend draped a blanket over her.

She looked up as the older woman moaned slightly. Charlotte was still conscious, Michaela had to keep trying.

"What're you all doing here?" she uttered weakly, as she looked around the room trying to orientate herself.

Michaela glanced up at her, "You were bitten by a rattlesnake."

Charlotte paused, the recent event now seemed very dim in her recollection. "Oh yeah." Still, she moved her eyes over the faintly familiar people around her.

"You're going to be fine." Michaela consoled, knowing she didn't believe it. Looking down awkwardly, she absorbed herself in grinding the sulfate pills into a powder.

"I am?" Charlotte's reply was unemotional, as she turned to question the physician to her right.

Michaela finished crushing a small quantity of the medicine, as Matthew and Colleen arrived back into the bedroom.

"I want you to get your mother to drink that." Michaela tipped the crushed powder into the cup.

"Okay." Colleen knelt on the edge of the mattress, bringing the small cup to her mother's lips. "Here Ma. Come on Ma, ya gotta drink this, come on Ma. Ma, come on," the young girl encouraged, as her mother sipped the cider weakly.

Colleen supported her mother's head, as she watched her drink. She became alarmed when she felt her pull away, "Ma!" The young girl turned to Michaela, "Here," Colleen beckoned for her assistance.

Michaela leant over the bed, putting her stethoscope to her patient's chest, again checking Charlotte's heartbeat.

"Dr. Mike?" the older woman appeared to recognize her friend standing over her, although her voice was thin and vacant.

"Charlotte?" Michaela removed the instrument, realizing the woman was beyond help. She rested her hand on Charlotte's pillow.

"One thing…" the gravely-ill woman's voice was breathy, however Charlotte knew this was the most important question she would ever ask.

"Anything." Michaela brought her hand to Charlotte's forehead, stroking her hair back as she held her gaze. Feeling the tips of her fingers glide through her friend's hair, Michaela no longer felt like a physician. She had lost patients before, but it never felt like this.

"Please," Charlotte could barely hear her own voice by this stage, her vision becoming blurred. "Please, take care of my children."

Colleen looked to Matthew, the young girl's eyes clouding over with tears as she realized not only that her mother was truly passing away before her eyes, but that her entire future was dependent on the response Dr. Mike gave.

Michaela felt her stomach lurch, her mind locking onto the final word alone. _Children;__three__children._Charlotte had come to be her best friend in the short time she had been away from home. Michaela speculated, that the older, brazen widow had perhaps been her closest friend ever.

"Charlotte, not me." Michaela saw the dying woman's eyebrows gather in disappointment. Quickly, she knew she had to justify her refusal, "I, I mean, I, I don't know anything about children; raising them." Michaela knew that was the truth. She'd known all her life that one day, she would marry and have the expected family that goes along with such a commitment. But, somehow the years had passed too quickly. As she looked over her friend's sweaty and pale face, Michaela couldn't believe that, after all these years, now would be the moment where her life would change forever.

She saw the disbelief in Charlotte's eyes. "They, they don't tell you anything about that in medical school." She felt the need to reassure her once again, knowing that arrangements for the children's care did not need to be organized now, "Besides you're going to be fine."

Charlotte heard the attempted humor in Michaela's voice, meant only to deflect from the seriousness of the situation. She had to convince her, knowing, despite their short relationship, Michaela would raise her children as she intended; with love, respect and open-mindedness.

"Please promise," she struggled to take in enough air to finish her soft plea, "promise me."

Michaela felt her jaw tense and then drop. She knew, despite the heavy doubts filling her chest, that she had to allow her friend to die peacefully, secure in the belief that her children would be looked after.

"I promise," the words fell from her lips lifelessly. Michaela understood the enormity of the pledge she'd just made.

Charlotte sighed, her breathing becoming rattled. She knew it would not be much longer. Slowly, and for the final time, she looked to each of her children in turn.

"Brian," she whispered, seeing the innocent stare of confusion on her youngest son's face. He could not be expected to understand the significance of these final moments as a family. She forced herself to turn her head slightly, never knowing if it would be the final time she would see each child.

Charlotte rested her head further back against the pillow, as she looked between Matthew and Colleen. Her breathing had slowed, and her vision darkened. As she saw her two eldest children grow up before her eyes, Charlotte knew she'd made the right choice.

Michaela returned her attention to the small bowl in her hands; maybe there was still something she could do. Maybe there was time.

She looked over at Charlotte, who merely chuckled weakly, a broad, loving smile coming to her lips. _No._ Michaela told herself. _This__isn__'__t__fair,__it__'__s__not__her__time._ She ground the pills harder, tears filling her eyes.

Michaela didn't stop until she felt a hand on her arm. As she looked up to see the Reverend at her side, her last lingering hopes dissipated.

Her mouth opening in defeat, Michaela looked over at Charlotte's peaceful face. There was nothing left to say; all had been put right.

Colleen was the first to react, seeing her mother's eyes glaze over, her final serene expression frozen on her face.

"Ma!" Colleen threw herself onto her mother's lifeless body, hands clasping her shoulders. "No," the two younger children whimpered, Brian dropping onto the bed next to his sister, squeezing his mother's arm, as if sheer strength could revive her.

"Ma, no! Ma!" Colleen continued to sob, knowing there was nothing she could do to bring her back. The painful reality that there could be no further last words, only served to fuel her tears. "Ma, no!"

Matthew swallowed, resting his hands on his sister's back. It was up to him now. He was the head of the family; he had to be strong. When he finally did move his eyes from his family, Matthew's shock was mirrored in Dr. Mike's cold expression of disbelief.

Despite the intensity of the young girl's distressed pleas, they could not drown out the thoughts churning in Michaela's head. As she leaned back against the bedroom wall, her eyes still on Matthew, she felt a new weight of responsibility pressing down on her shoulders. These three children were now in her sole care.

She swallowed again, as the Reverend began a final blessing over Charlotte's body. There were so many unanswered questions burning in her mind.

The room once again fell silent, as Colleen and Brian gradually detached themselves from their mother.

"Matthew, take your brother and sister outside." the Reverend touched the young man's shoulder.

Matthew simply nodded and reached for Colleen's arm. "C'mon…" he pulled gently as Brian crept around the end of the bed to grasp Colleen's hand.

"No!" the young girl cried shrilly, her arms still outstretched towards her mother.

"Be all right. Can't stay here," Matthew whispered, the Reverend helping him to usher the two younger children from the small room.

"Colleen?" the little boy whispered, looking fearfully between his mother and Dr. Mike.

"Ssh, Brian," Colleen consoled, her voice still laced with tears.

"Let's wait outside." Matthew gestured towards the doorway, where Mrs. Bray and two other townswomen stood.

It wasn't until she heard Matthew's low voice, that Michaela pulled her head away from the wall. As the children slowly departed from the room, Michaela looked back to her patient.

"I shall perform the service this afternoon." the Reverend muttered grimly. Michaela leant forwards to feel for a pulse to confirm death, as was required.

"Thank-you." Michaela placed Charlotte's arm back respectfully against the bed. "I should wait with the children." She bundled the stethoscope and sulfate into her medical bag, drawing the patchwork red quilt over the deceased woman's head.

"Dr. Mike, you did the best you could." The Reverend handed her the black bag, seeing the regret in her moist eyes.

"It wasn't enough." Michaela lowered her gaze, as she paced across the room.

"But you tried," he reiterated, clasping the bible against his chest.

She looked back up at him blankly for several moments, remembering the harsh conversation they'd had in the meadow only a short time earlier. This would only serve now to confirm his belief, that she was not a competent physician.

Michaela broke the eye contact, clasping her bag tighter and turning away from him. She had other responsibilities now; responsibilities that would require her to stay here, doctor or not.

Michaela arrived into the hallway, looking down as Maude touched her arm gently. "Were just too late," the older woman spoke.

Michaela nodded, her gaze lingering down the empty hallway. "Where are the children?"

"Matthew took 'em downstairs, Miss," a younger townswoman informed her, as Maude slipped into the bedroom to speak with the Reverend.

"Oh, I see." Michaela felt her fingers tighten around the leather handle of her bag as she paced towards the stairs.

**X.O.X**

Matthew had led Colleen and Brian downstairs to the dining room.

Brian was the first to speak. "Colleen… Ma's sleepin', right?" He placed his right hand on her shoulder as she sat down on a hard wooden chair.

"Uh-huh," the young girl trailed off into sobs, reaching for her brother's little hand.

"Well, when's she gonna wake up then?" he continued, looking across to Matthew when he saw how distressed the question had made his sister.

"She ain't, Brian. Ma's. Ma's sleepin' forever." Matthew pulled out the chair beside Colleen, dropping his weight down into it. His hands rested on his brow, as he looked miserably down at the tabletop.

"Oh," the little boy sighed, leaning up against his sister.

"What… what about Pa? Shouldn't we try, try and tell him?" Colleen's face was red from crying.

"Prob'ly." Matthew pushed his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. "Why's it up to me, anyway?" the fifteen year-old boy snapped back angrily.

"It's not up to you, Matthew." Michaela appeared in the doorway across the room.

All three children looked up at her, surprised.

"I don't want you to worry." Michaela clasped her hands in front of her, "About all those details at the moment." Brian detached from his sister and looked at the older woman nervously.

"You don't gotta take what Ma said seriously, Dr. Mike. She was just lookin' out for us." Matthew cleared his throat, feeling protective over his younger siblings.

"Well, I do." Michaela paced slowly over to the table, taking a seat opposite Colleen. "This will be an adjustment for all of us."

Matthew frowned, crossing his arms and studying Michaela with deliberate scrutiny.

"What makes you think we even wanna live with you?" Matthew spoke bitterly, raising his left eyebrow and pulling Brian onto his lap.

Michaela felt the corners of her mouth twitch defensively. About to reply, Colleen interjected for her, "_Matthew._"

"Well, it's true. She don't want us. Just had to tell Ma that she would, so Ma knew we'd be looked after." Matthew settled his arms tighter around Brian's shoulders.

"Now, that is not true, Matthew," Michaela objected, Brian turning his head quickly back to face her.

"I don't care," Matthew dismissed quickly.

Sensing everyone's ill-ease, Michaela changed the subject. "The Reverend informed me he will hold a service this afternoon… is there… anyone you want," Matthew cut her off sharply.

"There's no-one. Whole town'll be there anyway. Just, leave us alone." Matthew looked away.

Colleen glanced up at Dr. Mike, embarrassed by her brother's rudeness.

Michaela reached across the table to grasp the young girl's hand.

"Sorry," Colleen spoke awkwardly.

Michaela was about to voice a reply when Matthew interjected strongly, "What you apologizin' for… this is family. _She_ ain't family…" he dropped his voice to a whisper, "she's just the one got stuck with us."

Michaela sighed, understanding the young man's resistance. Letting her hand slip away from Colleen's, Michaela decided awkwardness or not, there were several things that needed to be said. "Now Matthew," she waited until she had obtained the boy's attention, "I know you're not-" Again, the young man interrupted, this time shifting Brian from his lap.

"What do you know? You know nothin' about this." He rose from his seat, and stormed across the dining room towards the wooden door. "See ya all later on… Don't wanna talk about it no more…"

Colleen and Michaela locked eyes as the door slammed closed.

"He'll come 'round Dr. Mike. Just upset 'bout Ma." Colleen weaved her arm around Brian's back.

"There's no need to explain, Colleen." Michaela shrugged although still feeling hurt by the young man's rejection.

"Dr. Mike?" Brian lifted his eyes.

"Hmm?" she acknowledged.

"When's Ma gonna wake up?" he repeated his earlier question, despite instigating a fresh wave of sobs from Colleen.

"Oh, sweetheart," Michaela paused, rising from the table and moving to Colleen's side. "Ssh." She gingerly rested her arm on the girl's shoulders. "I'm afraid she is not going to, Brian." Michaela brought her left hand to the boy's chest.

"But you're the doctor… can't ya fix her?" Brian pressed on, both turning as Colleen wailed more forcefully.

"Brian… I'm afraid even doctors are not able to cure everything." Michaela watched as the little boy dropped his head. "I'm sorry…"

"Dr. Mike?" He recovered and continued, "You gonna come live here with us, now?"

Michaela adjusted her awkward position; half bent over to Colleen and slightly lowered down to Brian's level. "There will be time to worry about that later. How about," Michaela hesitated, looking around, "Brian, how about fetching your sister a glass of water."

The little boy nodded and busied himself in the task.

Michaela turned her attention back to Colleen. "Ssh," she whispered, gently stroking the back of the girl's head.

"I'm sorry about Matthew, Dr. Mike," Colleen muttered, in between trying to control her whimpering.

"I'll have a talk with him later. Here. Drink this." She handed Colleen the glass of water.

"Thank, thank-you," the girl stuttered, sipping the liquid, although tasting more tears than water.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

"O God, full of compassion, thou who dwellest on high; Grant perfect rest unto the soul of Charlotte Cooper, who has departed from this world. O Lord, help us to understand that the sorrow of loss, it but the measure of a love that is stronger than death. Amen." The Reverend closed the leather bible, looking up at the distraught children.

"Son," he gestured to the shovel in front of Matthew.

Matthew swallowed, as he gripped the implement, and dug it into the pile of dirt.

He kept his eyes lowered, seeing the plain, wooden coffin, in the ground below. As was expected of him, Matthew let the dirt slip from the edge of the shovel. He heard it hit the box like a light rain.

His brother to his left and sister to his right, Matthew slowly lifted his head, reaching deliberately across to hand the shovel to Mr. Bray, who accepted it and repeated the symbolic gesture of farewell.

Knowing Dr. Mike was watching him; Matthew tightened his grip around his brother's shoulders, Colleen seeking comfort closer against his side.

The gathering remained silent, paying their respects for several moments, until the Reverend stepped forwards to rest his hand on Colleen's shoulder.

"Perhaps you might like some time… on your own?" Timothy whispered.

"Yes…" Matthew replied automatically, as the Reverend quietly began ushering people from the graveside.

Michaela, still hurt from Matthew's persistent rejection, watched as people began moving around her.

She looked up when she heard Loren, to her left, clear his throat.

Reluctantly, Michaela followed behind the Bray's.

"You're wastin' ya time, waitin' for that boy to accept ya as kin…" Loren folded his arms.

"I suppose you think I was wrong, to promise Charlotte I would take charge of the children?" Michaela replied crisply, her own emotions at the loss threatening to spill over into tears.

Loren Bray rested his chin in his hand. "Well… gotta face it, single woman and all, hardly the family type. Town ain't exactly taken to ya so far and addin' three youngin' ain't gonna make it any easier," the gruff store owner spoke his mind, intrigued by the energy Michaela was expending in not being dissuaded by his remarks.

"_Loren_. Don't you mind him, dear…" Maude tried to soften her husband's words.

"No… it, it's quite all right. In fact, I'm in agreement with your husband; I've never been the maternal type. So I find myself wondering; why would Charlotte have chosen me? Is there really no-one else?" Michaela looked back to the children, still gathered by their mother's gravesite.

"Unfortunately not, Miss." Loren muttered curtly, Michaela resisting the urge to correct him. "There was no other family, most people got their hands full with their own youngin'…"

"Well, what about you?" Michaela gestured to the couple.

"Us? Ah, no, no…" Loren rebuked the suggestion immediately.

"Well, why not, Loren?" Maude brushed her husband's arm.

"Hush, woman," he ordered, Michaela now seeing exactly why Charlotte would not have wanted her children placed with the Brays. "We've raised our family, Miss. Quinn."

Michaela nodded glumly, as Loren tipped his hat, he and Maude pacing back towards the Mercantile. She watched them depart before resting her eyes back on the three children.

If Charlotte had truly believed she was the best person to raise them, then, Michaela owed her that much. She would try.

About to walk slowly back to the children, Michaela noticed a lone figure, leaning against the church. She squinted lightly against the afternoon sun.

When she noticed the wolf by his side, Michaela knew it could only be one person.

Checking on the children a final time, she strode calmly alongside the white picket fence, until she stopped several yards away from the pair.

"Wonderin' how long it'd take ya…" Sully removed the piece of straw from his mouth, looking up at her.

"I, ah… is he… safe?" Michaela eyed the large, vigilant wolf from a distance.

"Sure… always knows a friend." Sully smiled softly. He patted the Wolf's head to calm him, holding his hat in his right hand.

Cautiously, Michaela edged her way closer, her eyes darting from Sully to the wolf, not caring how nervous she appeared.

Sully chuckled, reaching down to shake Wolf's paw. "Relax… here," Sully remained in a squatting position until Michaela was at his side. "… just, hold out ya hand… once he knows ya, will know he can trust ya."

Michaela bent forwards, offering the animal her left hand gingerly. "And if he doesn't, I suppose it won't matter," she sighed, observing the dangerous, fang-like incisors in the corners of the creature's mouth.

Sully smiled as Wolf sniffed the outstretched hand, the bonding complete with a friendly lick of affection.

"Thank-you." Michaela took her hand back, wiping it dry against her black skirt.

"It was very sudden…" Sully mused, his eyes going to the children who were whispering inaudible goodbyes to their mother.

"Yes. I only wish there might have been something I could have," Michaela looked up at him as he interjected.

"Must a been some reason for it. No use feelin' bad," Sully studied her hard expression as she retorted without hesitation.

"Is that how _you_ felt, when your wife," Michaela saw the fire ignite in his deep blue eyes. She tore her gaze away, clasping her hands in front of her waist. "I… I apologize, Charlotte told me."

"She did? Makes sense… town like this; always gotta have somethin' to be gossipin' about," His eyes narrowed.

"It wasn't gossip, Mr. Sully," Michaela defended Charlotte.

He shrugged, looking away. "Doesn't matter, anyway." Sully changed the subject swiftly, "heard you got more than ya expected…"

"Oh, so in less than three hours, it's the talk of the town?" Michaela folded her arms across her chest, adjusting her stance.

Sully noticed Michaela's contempt, "That's just one a the bad things 'bout a small town like this… plenty a good things to make up for it."

Michaela sighed, watching the children as they moved away from the gravesite, Colleen holding Brian's hand protectively.

"Yes, I keep waiting to find out exactly what they are…" her tone was dull with sarcasm.

"You will. Just gonna take time. 'Sides, doesn't look like ya gonna be leavin' any time soon now…" Sully followed her gaze to the children.

"No." Michaela sighed. "Although I suspect Matthew wishes I would." Michaela shook her head, as if to take back her words, "he's still in shock."

"So, you gonna be movin' into town, then?" Sully stepped away from the wall of the church.

"I don't know," Michaela replied sharply, "as of this morning my biggest challenge was to avoid burning breakfast… and now…" her voice dropped, feeling the tears sting her eyelids. "What am I going to do with them?" Michaela gestured forwards, blinking her eyes closed for a moment, to recover.

"No-one's sayin' takin' on three orphaned children is gonna be easy, Dr. Mike." Michaela turned back to meet eyes with him, intrigued that he even knew her name.

"I always wanted children, however I assumed it would be through compliance with the conventional order of events." Looking back in Sully's direction, she noticed the small smile creep onto his face.

"Children are waitin'…" Sully reminded her, dropping the bemused grin.

"Yes, I," she turned, Sully reaching for her arm.

"I," he dropped his gaze, seeing the look of surprise cross her face. "I was wonderin'… with the children… if ya needed a hand, for awhile," the words fell disjointedly from his mouth.

"Well, I certainly appreciate the offer, however, I wasn't aware you had any… experience with children." Michaela felt her mouth dry, still noticing his arm over her wrist.

"I don't… but… well, known the kids for awhile… Matthew likes fishin', Brian and Wolf get along real good. Colleen… well, she prefers to, preferred to, help her Ma cookin'…"

"At least that will be of benefit," Michaela felt his hand drop as they arrived next to the three children.

"Shall we go home?" Michaela reached tentatively for Brian's hand, squeezing in between the two younger children.

"Guess so…" Colleen, her head still hung, murmured.

Michaela nodded and placed her right arm around the girl's shoulders, beginning to lead them away from the cemetery, towards the meadow.

"Hey, what do you mean, _we_?" Matthew followed quickly after them, Sully keeping his distance, but still watching.

"All of us." Michaela clarified, not considering that the young man knew exactly what she had meant.

"You… you ain't stayin' with us…" Matthew's eyes widened, as Sully increased his pace to walk beside the boy.

"I am afraid, Matthew, you do not have a choice. Taking care of you, _will_ involve living with you, whether you like it or not." Michaela moved her hand to the back of the young girl's head, Colleen drying her eyes and beginning to process the disagreement that had ensued.

"I ain't some kid, I don't need takin' care of," he retorted as Sully watched Michaela handle the situation.

"Matthew, under the law you are still a child; and until such time as you are not, you require an adult guardian. I'm sorry that has to be me; but it is what you mother wanted. Now, I think we all owe it to her to respect her wishes." Michaela concluded, as she felt the little boy's hand slip away from her own.

"She's right, Matthew. It was… what Ma wanted. Ain't up to us." Colleen felt Michaela's arm on her shoulder, taking a step closer towards her to emphasize her support.

"Fine. Just don't expect me to be happy about it." Matthew stopped, resting his hands on his hips, as Michaela and the younger children continued walking.

Sully remained by Matthew's side, "Understand you ain't happy about it, just gotta make the best of it…" He kept his voice low, trying to smooth the waters.

"Easy for you to say… ain't your life been turned upside-down. Ain't even had no say in who we gotta live with. Barely even know her…" Matthew kicked a stone away, his pace slowing as Michaela, Colleen and Brian traveled further into the distance towards the bridge.

"Well, who woulda ya preferred to live with?" Sully explored.

"No-one. Nearly sixteen. Practically a man. Could live by myself," Matthew deepened his voice, into a harsh gruff.

"Matthew, eight months away is not 'nearly', and there are other people to consider in all this 'sides you. Ya brother and sister still need someone lookin' out for 'em." Sully dusted the sides of his buckskins as Michaela and the children began crossing over the bridge.

"What about Miss Olive. She's been the closest family we got since Pa left. Why didn't Ma leave us to her; leave us like an antique ring or somethin'," he trailed off as Michaela turned around to check where he was, "'stead left us with someone she hardly knew."

"Maybe ya Ma thought Dr. Mike'd be the best person for ya all. Even if ya can't see that right at the moment… give it some time. Trust that ya Ma wanted what was best for all a ya…" Sully patted the boy's shoulder, as he stopped and Matthew turned slightly.

"Yeah," he sighed nosily, "I owe Ma that much." Matthew looked away awkwardly, the tears filling once again in his eyes. "Why'd this have to happen, Sully…" a single tear trickled down his cheek, "why… after losin' Pa… Ma strugglin' so hard on her own… she didn't deserve to die like this… so quick… with Brian still so young." Sully's hand grew heavy with support upon his left shoulder.

"Ain't any point askin' yaself why. Things like this… don't make any sense. Just gotta trust… that… there's always a reason; a purpose for the tough times in life." Sully saw the skeptical look in Matthew's eyes.

"All I know is, I gotta be there for my family. For Colleen and Brian. What Ma woulda wanted." Matthew was comforted by his own words.

"That's right, Matthew. She woulda wanted ya to be a family." Sully lifted his arm away as they both watched Colleen and Michaela hold each of Brian's hands.

He nodded once again, quickening his pace and arriving on the edge of the bridge to catch up with his siblings.

Sully watched the small party disappear towards the main street, looking back to the gravesite a final time. It had been so quick. He reflected on his own life; all loss was sudden and unexpected.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

The three Cooper children and Michaela had eaten a small meal of leftovers, the mood remaining somber, conversation made only when necessary. After Michaela and Colleen cleaned away the dishes and cutlery, Matthew had tried to entertain Brian with a game of checkers, however the little boy couldn't muster the energy to concentrate and soon grew restless.

"Brian, ya said ya wanted to play…" Matthew dropped a handful of pieces onto the board as Brian began his third lap around the dining table.

The little boy shrugged, stuffing his hands further into his baggy trousers. "Don't feel like it no more…" his voice was timid.

"Brian…" Colleen draped the tea towel over the back of the chair and arrived behind him. "What… about if I read to you?" she offered, resting her hands on her knees as she bent towards him.

He merely shook his head, looking from Colleen, to Matthew, to the third person who sat nearby, silently watching him.

"What ya readin', Dr. Mike?" he tilted his head, leaning against the edge of the table.

Michaela glanced back to the open book in front of her, then over to the young child. "One of your mother's books I found upstairs, Brian." She closed it and showed him the cover, expecting him to read the fine gold-etched title.

He squinted, blinking several times, "A… Co… Coll…" the little boy frowned, turning to his sister across the table, "you read it, Colleen."

The young girl, her right hand held under her chin to support her head, read the title emotionlessly, "A Collection of Poetry; to inspire and comfort..." Colleen looked to Michaela, "Ma used to read us somethin' every Sunday night…" she smiled fondly.

Matthew looked up from the rocking chair by the window. "Hush up, Colleen," he demanded, tapping his arm intensely against the armrest.

"Will ya read us one, Dr. Mike. Even if it ain't Sunday?" Brian gestured to the book.

"I… don't think everyone would feel comfortable with that, Brian." Michaela placed the book slowly back on the table.

Colleen, still bitter at her brother's harsh words, glared at him for a moment. "Doesn't matter, Dr. Mike. Ma wouldn't mind; know she wouldn't." the little girl brought her left hand up as well to support her head and broadened her smile.

Michaela hesitated; would it be inappropriate to read the poem she had been considering? Was it too soon? Looking over at the little boy, who had worked his way closer to her right knee, Michaela saw his eyes glisten with expectation. "Please, Dr. Mike?" he whispered.

"I suppose," Michaela took the small book in her right hand, quickly skimming to the poem she had thought pertinent.

All three of them looked up when they heard Matthew get to his feet, "I ain't stayin' for this. I'll, I'll see ya all in the mornin'…" he crossed the room to hug Colleen goodnight.

"Matthew, I didn't mean for it to make you," Michaela began.

"Save it; the kids want it… I'm goin' to sleep." He arrived around to the other side of the table, bending down to embrace his little brother.

"Night, Matthew," Brian whispered, feeling his older brother's arms around his back.

"Don't forget ya prayers, little brother," Matthew replied, ruffling his hair.

After throwing a quick glance of disapproval in Michaela's direction, the older boy left the room.

"Perhaps it was insensitive…" Michaela swallowed, the book in her right hand sinking down to the table.

"No, Dr. Mike. Don't worry 'bout Matthew. He's only actin' like he don't like ya coz he's angry. Don't gotta let him upset ya." Colleen rose from her chair, pacing slowly around the edge of the table to take the seat on Michaela's right.

Brian pulled himself up into his sister's lap, as Michaela reached hesitantly for the book. "Go on, Dr. Mike…" the little boy encouraged.

"Well, all right," Michaela acquiesced, opening the book and finding the poem she had read earlier. Clearing her throat, and looking quickly between each of the young children, Michaela began, "This particular poem is entitled, 'Along the Road', and was written by Robert Browning Hamilton," she paused, deepening the tone of her voice,

_I walked a mile with Pleasure; _

_She chattered all the way, _

_But left me none the wiser _

_For all she had to say. _

_I walked a mile with Sorrow _

_And ne'er a word said she; _

_But oh, the things I learned from her _

_When Sorrow walked with me. _

Michaela's eyes were still lowered to the page, fearful to look up and see the children's faces.

"I remember Ma readin' that one. She said it made her feel better 'bout losin' Pa…" Colleen kept her hands locked together around her brother's waist.

"I don't understand. Why is walkin' sad?" the boy was innocent in his question.

Michaela took several moments to respond. "Because it is not about walking, as such, Brian. That poem talks about living; that when life is pleasant and in your favour, we may enjoy ourselves, but that it is only when faced with challenges; with difficulties and sadness that we grow and learn. It is about the journey of life. That sadness gives us strength and wisdom." Michaela clarified to the young boy.

"That it's the hard times in life makes us tough." Colleen hung her head, realizing Michaela's reason for her choice of literature. "Like now…"

"Exactly." Michaela affirmed.

"I don't feel tough. I feel sad." Brian squirmed in his sister's lap.

Colleen looked over to Michaela for advice.

Michaela saw the young girl's blank expression. "I know, Brian. I know how empty it feels, losing someone you love."

"Just seems… like it's ain't real. Like… we'll wake up tomorrow… and she'll be down here; cookin' breakfast… singin'…" Colleen trailed off, as her throat became clogged with tears.

Michaela reached across to rest her hand on the girl's shoulder. She was surprised at the spontaneity of the gesture; only hesitating when she felt Colleen's muscles tense under her hand.

"Why'd she… she have to get bitten… don't understand. Never got bit before… Matthew said wasn't even a big rattler… so _why?_ She didn't deserve this, never hurt nobody," Colleen paused to sniffle back the tears, "… and since, since Pa left… been so hard for her… raisin' us on her own… everyone talkin' 'bout her… 'bout Pa leavin'. Ain't, ain't fair…" Colleen's shoulders hunched forwards and Brian slipped down from her lap.

"Fair is the last thing it is, Colleen. I'm sorry. I wish there had of been something I could have done to save her. I let her down," Michaela's voice dropped, as she looked away to the empty rocking chair where Matthew had been sitting, "I let you all down."

Brian saw the vacant expression that appeared on Michaela's face. "You didn't let us down, coz you're gonna take care a us… what Ma wanted." He pressed against her side, reaching his right hand curiously towards the long plait that hung over Michaela's left shoulder.

"That's a very thoughtful thing to say, sweetheart." Michaela looked down as Brian continued to amuse himself wrapping the end of her hair around his wrist. She smiled softly.

"Brian, leave Dr. Mike's hair alone…" Colleen tried to pull her brother's arm back, the tears on her face having dried.

"That's all right. Here, Brian, you can untie the ribbon and take it down for me…" Michaela's smile widened at the boy's eagerness.

Brian, never having thought such informality would be permitted, let the gathered hair drop from around his little wrist. Carefully, he untied the thin ribbon and handed it to her, absorbing himself in child-like fascination as he unraveled the long, thick tresses.

"Be careful, Brian…" Colleen scolded, watching as her brother narrowly avoided knotting two strands together.

Michaela remained silent, noticing the maternal manner in which the young girl monitored and disciplined her brother.

Having finished the significant task, Michaela thanked the child and got to her feet.

"Um… do… do you have bedtimes?" She clasped her hands awkwardly in front of her.

"Yeah. Brian has to be in bed by seven," Colleen bit her lip as Michaela glanced over at the clock.

"Oh," it was almost eight-thirty. "Well, how about you go and prepare for bed, Brian…" Michaela directed the boy towards the hallway which led to his room.

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied obediently.

"I'll come tuck you in, Brian." Colleen rose from the chair and pushed it back under the table.

The little boy scampered down the hallway.

"And… what about you, Colleen?" Michaela asked the girl openly.

"Usually around nine. Sometimes earlier if I'm tired," Colleen replied.

"Colleen… I, I know this isn't going to be easy… for any of us. I… I just hope we might make the best of it." Michaela dropped her hands to her sides, feeling as if she should hug the girl goodnight.

"So do I, Dr. Mike. Even if Matthew don't think so… and even if I say somethin' else later… I think it's real good a you to do this. After all, hardly know us. I know you meant a lot to Ma… but… it was still a lot to ask." Colleen took a step closer, eyeing the older woman who was about to, in every way, become her mother.

"You don't need to say that; when I made that promise to your mother, I meant it." Michaela drew a breath, realizing she needed to convey Charlotte's importance to the young girl. "She was the closest friend I've ever had, aside from my own family."

"I'm glad she chose you." Colleen stated, such simple words needing no further emotional support.

Michaela gave in, moving forwards to embrace the girl in the mutually soothing embrace.

"Shall I tuck Brian in?" Michaela looked towards the doorway as they let go of each other's arms.

Colleen appeared momentarily reluctant, "I… I told him I would… but," she nodded, "you should."

Michaela paced across the room, turning back to the young girl, "If you need me during the night… you may wake me, sweetheart."

Colleen reached for the small poetry book still left on the table. "Thought I'd read in bed for a bit… 'Night, Dr. Mike…" she passed her and walked slowly towards her own room.

Michaela surveyed her surroundings, quickly reminding herself to turn down the three lanterns that lit the room.

As she extinguished the last lantern, Michaela felt the reality of the day hit her. Lifting her head and squinting to see across the darkened room, she suddenly felt very far from home.

Arriving into the hallway, Michaela saw the dim light stream under Colleen's door. She paced unhurriedly along the corridor, about to stop outside the spare room, when she remembered the little boy.

Michaela turned her head to her left; his door was closed, but a light still appeared to be on.

She crossed the hallway, knocking twice on the wooden door. "Brian, may I come in?" Michaela whispered, reaching for the doorknob.

"Uh-huh," the small voice replied.

Michaela slipped into the room, her eyes softening when she saw the little boy comfortably settled into his bed.

"Is there anything you need?" Michaela ventured, looking around the sparsely furnished room. "A… glass of water?"

Brian shook his head, momentarily dismayed that it wasn't his mother who had walked through the door.

About to turn and leave the room, Michaela remembered Matthew's earlier words, "Have you said your prayers, Brian?" She felt awkward just asking the child such a simple question. After all, a day ago they had barely known each other.

"I forgot," he gasped, pushing down the quilt and scurrying out of bed.

Michaela watched as the boy slid off the edge of the bed and down to his knees, clasping his hands together, his elbows dug firmly into the bed.

She lowered her head when she saw his mouth commence moving, his eyes shut tightly.

Michaela noticed the sound of silence which filled the small room. Life had changed forever.

Hearing the boy crawl back into bed, Michaela looked up again. "Goodnight, Brian…" she smiled nervously, unsure as to whether she should hug him or not.

Her question was quickly answered as he outstretched his arms towards her. "'Night, Dr. Mike." She reached the side of his bed and bent over to embrace him affectionately.

The young boy, his soft blond hair slightly tousled, squeezed his hands firmly into Michaela's back, before letting her go.

As Michaela straightened back upright, tucking the quilt comfortingly into the bed frame, she heard the little boy's innocent remark.

"Dr. Mike, when Ma comes back she's gonna be real glad you took care a us," he spoke simply.

Michaela studied his angelic face, before carefully lowering herself down next to the bed. "Sweetheart… your mother isn't going to be coming back."

His face melded into confusion, "But… Colleen said she was sleepin'."

Michaela covered his right hand with her own, "Brian… your mother… isn't sleeping."

"But Colleen said," Brian challenged, Michaela cutting him off.

"I know, sweetheart, I know." Michaela paused, "Sometimes… people will say dying is like sleeping… but it's not the same, Brian. When you're asleep, you can be woken up… and you remember being asleep. When one dies… they leave their body… and can never come back."

The fear appeared instantly on the child's face, "Then… where's Ma gone?" his voice was strained.

"She… she is with God, sweetheart; in heaven. That is where people go when they leave us here."

"Oh…" came the lost reply. "So I… can never see her again?" he muttered resolutely.

"No, Brian…" Michaela squeezed his small hand tighter.

"Never?" his jaw trembled.

"Brian… many people believe, that in heaven, we are all united again. So you will see her again one day," Michaela reassured.

Brian took in her explanation, another concern quickly coming to mind, "But she'll be all alone up there… she'll miss us."

"No she won't, sweetheart. There are lots of people up in heaven. Your Grandparents… and all the people who have died." Michaela knew there was one person in particular of whom she was thinking.

"She won't know anybody 'sides them…" Brian was still worried.

Michaela marveled at the compassion he was showing for his mother over himself; he wasn't thinking merely of his own loss, but rather Charlotte's loss of her whole family.

"She will become friends with new people, Brian. I'm sure of it. Your mother was a very friendly woman." Michaela smiled, remembering the welcoming smile on Charlotte's face the day she arrived on the porch carrying the chicken.

"Yeah…" he nodded, remembering her cheerful smile and bubbly laugh.

"You don't need to worry about her being alone, Brian. My Father is there also," Michaela glanced symbolically upwards.

"He is?" the little boy seemed comforted by the information.

Michaela smiled, hoping she had allayed his fears, "He is. And he was also a very kind man. Like your mother."

The little boy reached his left hand over to Michaela's, "Maybe they'll be friends…"

"Maybe they will." She stroked his forehead with her left hand, tenderly moving forwards to place a kiss on his hairline.

The child closed his eyes, soothed by her soft touch. Michaela swallowed, her eyes moving over his delicate features; would she ever love this little boy as her own? Was that what Charlotte would have wanted.

Silently, she waited until he had fallen asleep, before dimming the lantern above his bed, and creeping across towards the ajar door.

_One day at a time, Michaela. _She reminded herself, resting her eyes on his cherubic outline, watching his chest rise and fall with each gentle breath.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

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**_One Day Later _**

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Matthew had risen and left the boarding house before Michaela or the children had awoken.

After managing to concoct an editable breakfast between the two of them, Colleen and Michaela had attempted to entertain Brian until midmorning, when endless games and stories had worn thin.

"I don't gotta stay here any more, do I?" the little boy wiped his doughy hands on a nearby tea towel. Their latest ploy of making scones, had proven the final straw.

"Well, where did you want to go, Brian?" Michaela pushed several wisps of hair back from her forehead, sighing in exhaustion and annoyance as she realized she had just smeared flour across her brow.

Brian burst into giggles when he turned back to answer her.

"Very amusing," Michaela rolled her eyes with a smile, as she pulled the cloth from his grasp. "Now, I believe I asked you a question?"

"Well… can't I go visit Mr. Bray? See if he's got any new candy or toys?" Brian pulled at the baggy apron tied around his waist.

"I suppose so, if that is what you'd like," Michaela permitted, looking across to Colleen, "Would you like to accompany your brother?"

"Not… really… but I can if you want me to?" Colleen bit her lower lip, looking around the messy room, eggshells, flour and other ingredients strewn over the table.

"No, No… I just…" Michaela frowned, lowering her voice. "I wasn't sure if it was appropriate for Brian to… go by himself…" she phrased awkwardly, beginning to realize the uncertainties that accompanied parenthood.

"He's fine, Dr. Mike. He's allowed to go anywhere in town, long as Ma knows where he is…" Colleen lowered her eyes.

"I… see," Michaela helped the little boy untie his apron. "Then you may go, Brian… I'd like you back by lunch time, at one o'clock." Michaela frowned, crossing the room and locating her black bag. "Here…" she handed the little boy a dollar.

He took the money nervously, glaring up in confusion at Colleen, "What ya want me to get?"

"Whatever you wish, Brian… candy… it's up to you." Michaela noticed the discomfort in the boy's expression.

"Oh… ah, thanks…" He scampered across the room, Colleen and Michaela remaining silent until he had closed the door.

"Reckon Brian thought it was his birthday, Dr. Mike…" Colleen smiled, sliding the tray of dough into the oven.

Michaela tilted her head, not following.

"Don't think he expected ya to give him a whole dollar to waste on candy…" Colleen hastily began tidying the kitchen.

"I… forgot." She dropped her gaze. "Everything's so different here." Slowly, she raised her head with a smile at Colleen.

"No matter. Ah, since… Brian ain't interested in cookin'… can I," Colleen paused, seeing Michaela's jaw tighten, having no idea it was merely in response to her improper grammar, "… go play with Becky? Didn't… think it made no sense to sit around feelin' upset…"

"Of course, sweetheart," Michaela smiled reassuringly, noticing the effort it seemed to take the young girl to ask such a simple question.

"Don't worry, I'll be back by lunch," Colleen promised, moving more quickly to finish cleaning the kitchen.

"Oh, don't you worry about that, I'll clean up… In fact, why don't you ask if… Becky?" Colleen nodded, "if Becky would like to join us for lunch?" Michaela saw the momentary smile break out over Colleen's face.

"Thanks, Dr. Mike," she froze, looking around the room, "ah… what… what are we gonna be havin' for lunch?" Colleen couldn't hide her skepticism at Michaela's cooking ability.

"I… good question," Michaela brought her hands to her hips, shaking her head.

"Well, I can bring Becky round just before… we can help ya fix somethin'…" she crossed the room, disappearing to check the larder. "plenty a stuff left over for sandwiches, Ma made fresh bread yester…" she arrived back into the room, her voice fading.

Michaela remained silent as the young girl forced herself not to cry, her chin trembling as she swallowed and drew a deep breath. "I… I'll bring Becky back in time to help…" she tore her eyes away, reaching for the edges of her skirt and striding purposefully from the room.

Michaela sighed, letting her eyes drop closed before turning to busy herself cleaning up the room.

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Michaela had finished restoring the room to order, when she detected a strong, smell of sweet flour.

Barely remembering to remove the scones before they burned, she placed a towel over them, as Colleen had instructed and glanced up at the clock across the room.

"Eleven ten," Michaela announced.

She removed the apron from her waist, draping it over the edge of the table, as she checked for any sign of the children. Nothing.

Michaela arrived into the hallway, closing the door into the kitchen, and ascended the wooden stairs.

She was grateful for the time alone; there was something she needed to do.

It was the first time Michaela had been back into Charlotte's bedroom since she had died. After Robert E. and Loren had moved her body, Maude had tidied the room, for fear the children may come back in.

Michaela glanced from the chest of drawers, to the small, delicate pictures that hung on the walls over it. As she stepped further into the room, she rested her gaze on the now empty bed.

"Charlotte... I hope you will not think of this as an intrusion." Michaela kept her hands clasped, feeling her mouth dry as she reached for the knob of the top left hand drawer.

Hearing nothing other than the sound of the creaking wood as it slid open, Michaela realized she had been holding her breath.

Looking down, she took out the first handful of letters, and other documents, finding nothing other than old birthday cards and notes from the children.

Michaela knew she couldn't become caught up in sentiment; there were business affairs to be taken care of, and the less the children were aware of this, the better.

Forcing herself to numb to the invasiveness of her actions, Michaela opened and closed each drawer, finding neatly folded clothes, hair ties, brushes, a small mirror and blankets.

Crossing back towards the door, Michaela repeated her driven movements, seeing the small crystal bell atop the higher cupboard. More clothes, several modest pieces of jewelry; a silver chained necklace, an amethyst broach.

Michaela was careful to leave everything as it had been, still not having found the official documentation she sought.

Her arms folded tightly across her chest, Michaela looked down at the gold-colored quilt, tucked perfectly around the mattress.

There was one place she hadn't checked.

"Of course," Michaela lowered her arms, moving back between the bed and the chest of drawers before dropping to her knees, her head disappearing momentarily under the bed.

"Charlotte Cooper…" Michaela smiled, pulling the dusty, metal box from under the bed, settling it down onto the mattress.

"Please tell me you didn't lock," Michaela sighed, relieved when the stiff hinge of the lid eventually swung open.

Michaela unconsciously sucked the left side of her lower lip into her mouth, as she emptied the contents of the box out, positioning herself on the mattress as she tried to discern where to start.

Taking several minutes, Michaela divided the papers into two piles; financial and sentimental, deciding she would deal with the first herself and leave the latter to share with the children when it was more appropriate.

Again, Michaela's breath collected in her throat, her eyes dropped into a definite frown; The boarding house was still heavily mortgaged, and almost two hundred dollars was on her account to the Bray's.

Michaela glanced through each of the three reminders from Loren, small amounts being gradually paid off over the past month, but not even enough to cover the new charges.

Continuing through the pile of yellowed papers and smudged writing, Michaela realized Charlotte's debt did not merely extend to Loren and the mortgage to the First National Bank in Denver. Charlotte had owed almost twenty dollars to Robert E. for repairs on the wagon, as well as to the boarding house; just over five dollars to Horace Bing for telegrams and postage; a similar amount to Jake Slicker: hair cuts for the boys; and finally petty amounts to several townswomen for sewing. All had been carefully recorded; all with the intention of being paid back.

Michaela felt her stomach turn, guilt and shame welling from her chest. If only she had known. How humiliating it must have been for her friend, Michaela flouncing around in elaborate clothing; purchasing items for the homestead without considering that others were less fortunate than herself.

"Charlotte, I'm sorry. But," she let the trapped air leave her lungs, "I can make this right. I _will_ make this right." Michaela bundled the handful of bills together; knowing that a small portion of her inheritance alone was enough to amply cover the smaller debts.

Opening the small bound mortgage book from the bank, Michaela checked again for the amount outstanding. Skimming through the fine print, she shook her head; more was owed than had been the original mortgage of fifteen-hundred dollars.

Michaela knew then, that, even if she wired home for money; utilizing the remainder of her inheritance now, as well as being beholden to her mother, was not a wise decision.

The last few months had not been successful; she had far from begun to establish herself as a physician, in such a backwards town.

Lifting her head, Michaela looked around the delicately furnished room.

_How will I tell the children? How… after losing their father and now their mother, how will I tell then they are to lose the home they have settled themselves in as well. _

Michaela wiped futilely at the moisture that had collected in her eyes, quickly bundling the papers back together.

As she slid the heavy metal box back under the bed, Michaela regained her composure. "I promise, Charlotte," she repeated the vow she had made only a day earlier in the very same room, only with a varied meaning.

Michaela vowed she would preserve the dignified woman's reputation at all cost; even to her own children.

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Lunch was uncomfortable to say the least; Matthew did not utter a sound; averting his eyes the moment he saw Michaela look at him.

Becky and Colleen made idle conversation; Brian chiming in whenever he felt excluded.

"Matthew, what have you been occupying yourself with this morning?" Michaela slipped the last crust of bread into her mouth, as she asked him the question directly.

"Nothin'," he deflected, pushing back his chair, about to stand from the table.

"I asked you a question, Matthew," Michaela repeated, unable to shield her frustration any longer.

"And I ain't gotta answer to _you_," Matthew retorted, standing and taking his plate over to the basin. "Thanks for lunch, Colleen," he muttered deliberately, before striding back across the room to the door which led out onto the porch.

Colleen and Becky exchanged awkward glances, as Michaela rose to her feet angrily.

"Matthew! You'll sit back down here with the rest of us, until everyone has finished." Michaela saw Brian jump in his seat.

"Will not! You ain't my Ma; can't tell me what to do." He shook his head defiantly, slamming the door as he stormed out onto the porch.

Michaela sat back down, her head lowered as everyone heard his fading footsteps.

The two girls remained silent, chewing as quietly as they could on their sandwiches.

"Dr. Mike? Is Matthew mad?" Brian placed the uneaten corner of his roast beef sandwich back down on his plate.

Michaela tucked a piece of hair behind her left ear, "I… I think he's still just a little upset at the moment, Brian. Don't you worry…" Michaela reached for the napkin beside her and wiped her hands.

"Dr. Mike? Can… can Becky and I go watch the boys; they're havin' a… a competition, in the meadow. Invited the girls to come along." The little girl placed her friend's empty plate on top of her own.

"I… ah, yes, that's fine Colleen…" still bothered by Matthew's harsh words, she blankly obliged the child's request.

"Is Benjamin gonna beat Cal?" Brian looked up, having heard rumors of the upcoming fight.

Colleen glared at him, quickly leaving the plates to soak in the basin of water.

"Wait a minute." Michaela's mouth dropped open as the girl's tried to escape towards the door, "what _kind_ of competition, Colleen?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Ah… ah, a, ah… see which one of them is better, that's all," Colleen reached for the small handle of the door, opening it. Becky remained tightly behind her, both worried the permission would be rescinded.

"Better at what?" Michaela took Brian's now-empty plate and placed it on her own.

"Benjamin's gonna clobber Cal; he's been practisin'," Brian openly informed.

"Colleen, are these two boys, by any chance, going to be deliberately inflicting pain upon one another?" Michaela dropped the last of the plates into the water, reaching for Brian's napkin as she paced around behind the small boy.

"Um… ah, maybe," Colleen lowered her head, "please can I go? They won't really be gettin' hurt…"

"Colleen… is that…" Michaela was about to question the very nature of 'entertainment' in the small town, however merely sighed and gestured towards the door, "very well, you don't want to be late."

Colleen's eyes widened in disbelief, there was no objection? Becky still on her heels, Colleen stepped into the doorway.

Michaela had one final condition, however, "Colleen… if, ah… either boy should be hurt… might you at least let me know?" she cringed, _this_ was what passed for childhood fun?

"Sure, Dr. Mike… thanks!" the girls closed the door, again the sound of fading footsteps could be heard.

"Doctor…. Mike…" Brian fussed, not enjoying having his mouth and face scraped with the dry napkin.

"Hold still, sweetheart," she finished cleaning the remnants of his lunch from his face.

Brian pushed his chair back as soon as she tossed the napkin back to the table.

"Just where are you running off to?" Michaela smiled, beginning to clear away the loaf of bread and plate of cold meat from the table.

"Nowhere; wanted to show you what I got at Mr. Bray's," the little boy replied eagerly.

"Oh… then, I apologize," Michaela corrected, rinsing off the clean plates and utensils.

Having fetched the large brown bag from his room, Brian came back to dump the contents proudly on the table.

"See… got a new toy, Mr. Bray said only just come in," Brian demonstrated proudly; the sole object of the simplistic toy being to get the little wooden ball into the wooden cup, hindered by the fact that the ball was attached to the handle by a thin piece of string.

"That's lovely, Brian… you've obviously been practicing too," Michaela applauded when he succeeded in catching the ball in the cup.

"Oh… and I got other stuff too." He placed the toy back on the table, reaching for the smaller brown bag. "See… 'nough candy to last me a month… and I got you somethin' too, Dr. Mike." He fished around in his right trouser pocket.

"Wanted to keep it a surprise…" he muttered, eventually producing the small gift.

"Sweetheart, there was no need for you to," Michaela hushed when the little boy handed her the object; a small, delicate brown hairclip.

"Mr. Bray said they were from Boston; isn't that where you're from?" he smiled tentatively, unsure if she liked the present.

"It certainly is, angel." Michaela accepted the small object, a lump forming in her throat.

"Do you like it?" he looked up at her, his blue eyes wide with anticipation.

"I love it," she confirmed, drawing her left hand to his shoulder.

"Good," his smile widened as he leaned towards her chest in a tight embrace.

Michaela clutched the little boy firmly, feeling his chin tuck into her right shoulder.

Again, he had surprised her; more considerate of her, than she would have thought possible for a child of such tender years.

Eventually sensing Brian pull away from the embrace, Michaela rubbed his upper arms, pausing to fasten the small clip at the top of her plaited hair.

"What do you think?" she beamed.

"I like that…" he smiled, carefully straightening the brown clip.

Michaela stood up, assessing the dishes still soaking and the leftover food around her. "I suppose I ought to finish cleaning up." She crossed the room, finding a tea towel.

"Can I help?" Brian asked instantly.

"Brian, I," again Michaela forced herself to refrain from correcting the child's grammar. It would wait.

"Well, you might pass me the dishes from the basin?" Michaela pointed towards the porcelain object.

"Sure…" he agreed, handing her the first plate.

As the two calmly cleaned away the lunch dishes, Michaela was reminded of the disappointing news she had yet to break to the three children.

_Tomorrow; it will at least wait until then. _

She returned her attention to the little boy, managing to catch a slippery dish before it dropped from his grasp.

_It would wait. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

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**_One Day Later _**

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Having just repaid Charlotte's accounts at both the Mercantile and with Jake Slicker, Michaela made her way briskly to the telegraph office. As she paced across the creaky floorboards, Horace looked up from the morning newspaper with an uncomfortable grin. Between his good-natured and fair personality and the Reverend's unwavering opinion that women should not be doctors, Horace Bing had yet to make up his mind regarding the female physician.

"Oh, ah, mornin' ma'am…" he dropped the paper to the countertop, clasping his hands in front of him.

"Mr. Bing, I wished to settle Charlotte Cooper's account." She glanced down at the slip of paper in her hands, "I believe it was five dollars sixty?"

He reached for the small black book in the corner of the desk, flipping through several pages. "Yes… ah… Five sixty exactly, ma'am," he watched her open the small purse in her right hand. "Oh, but ah, I weren't expectin' payment, thought… seein' as much… was so tragic… was the least I could do to just," he stopped abruptly when she resisted.

"No, Mr. Bring, I'm afraid that won't do. I don't believe Charlotte would have wanted charity. Here…" she placed the money on the counter.

"Really… I," he attempted to decline the offering.

"I won't take no for an answer, I'm afraid. Neither would have Charlotte. Five dollars sixty, exactly." Michaela's voice was stern.

Horace licked his lips, seeing the determination in her eyes. "Yes, ah ma'am. I… I understand." He nodded politely, quickly remembering the telegram that had come in only that morning. "This… ah, came in this mornin'… thought seein' as how you're handling things… you oughta have it," he handed Michaela the crisp, neatly written message.

"Thank-you, good day." Michaela folded it without so much as a glance, turned and swiftly made her way back out onto the porch.

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Hand gripped firmly against her chin, Michaela paced around the large, wooden table for the third time. Stopping when she became aware of the hollow sound of her own footsteps, she looked over to the small, folded telegram.

When she had arrived back to the boarding house just before lunch, there was a note from Colleen. It informed her that Matthew was helping Mr. Bray unload newly arrived stock, Brian was swimming with Steven in the creek, and Colleen had gone along to supervise them.

That was over two hours ago, and Michaela found herself jumping at every noise. Since finding the mortgage booklet under Charlotte's bed, she had known she would need to inform the children of their eminent move, however, until receiving the telegram from Denver, had not suspected it would be so soon.

_Maybe I'm making the wrong decision. Perhaps I should wire Mother for the money. Is it fair of me to deny the children their home as well? _

Hearing the crunching sound as her teeth bit unconsciously through a fingernail, Michaela pulled her hand away.

_Michaela Quinn, _she chastised herself.

_No, I'm doing the right thing. It will take some time, however a fresh start is in everyone's best interests. Better than staying here, with all the memories. It will be a chance to begin again, as a family of our own. _

She startled at the sound of a gentle knocking on the door.

"Come in," she beckoned, assuming it would be one of the children.

Emily Donovan, wearing her characteristic cheerful grin appeared through the doorway, the young infant clutched in her arms.

"Emily…" Michaela gasped, hands dropping with relief to her sides.

"Oh, Dr. Mike. I wanted to come see ya sooner, just… well didn't wanna intrude." She waited until Michaela had ushered her into the room.

"That's quite all right, is there… something the matter with the baby… you? Michaela closed the distance between them, habitually checking the infant's forehead.

"Oh, no… she's fine. Wanted to see how you were doin' though. Was such awful news… so sudden and all," Emily consoled, bouncing the fussing baby in her arms.

"I won't pretend it has been easy," Michaela dropped her head, "Matthew hasn't spoken more than two words to me, all of which have been words of anger, Colleen bursts into tears every time she remembers her mother is really gone, and little Brian… both mornings, I've woken up and found him curled up in Colleen's bed beside her."

"He's so little, poor boy…" Emily reached forwards to squeeze Michaela's arm. "And what 'bout you?"

Michaela was caught off guard by the question. Nervously, her hands clasped against her waist. "I don't have a choice, really. The children need a stable environment." She looked around the room, again noticing the telegram in the center of the dining table. "I… haven't had the chance to speak with them yet," her voice lowered, "but we can't stay here. The bank in Denver is to foreclose on the boarding house. The mortgage was two months overdue." Michaela heard Emily's sigh.

"I am sorry… Ain't there nothin' you can do?" Emily shook her head, looking around the familiar room.

"I did consider paying out the mortgage myself, however, I wasn't sure staying here was the best decision. If we're going to be a family, we need to start over. It will be harder for the children to stay here," Michaela answered, the young woman nodding in agreement, after a short delay.

"Sounds right enough. Listen, I know ain't been easy for you here, even before this. Know Charlotte meant an awful lot to you. Even if ya don't think so, she ain't the only one who thought you were doin' a good job bein' here." Emily received a surprised look. "That's right. Women been talkin' 'mongst themselves; reckon it's 'bout time someone like you showed men they ain't the only ones can get stuff done in a place like this. Take the likes a Jake Slicker. 'Fore you came, he thought he knew all there was to know 'bout doctorin'." Emily rested the whimpering infant over her shoulder.

"Yes, so I discovered for myself. And it wasn't all that much," Michaela sighed, her right hand going to her jaw line at the very thought.

"Charlotte was tellin' me… ya had him pull a tooth for ya. Certainly was brave a ya,"

"Hmm, considering it was perfectly fine." She tapped the side of her cheek, running her tongue over the hole in her gum.

"You mean weren't nothin' wrong with it?" Emily's mouth opened in disbelief and horror.

"Absolutely nothing," Michaela's head shook as she spoke. "I… thought that if I respected his opinion medically, people would see I had nothing against him."

"Huh?" the dull housewife frowned.

Michaela smiled, deliberately rephrasing, "Nobody would listen to my medical advice, so I thought that if I listened to his, even when it wasn't required, he, as well as others, might realize I valued his opinion, one 'doctor' to another, and not be so… intimidated… by me…"

"Oh… and did it work?" Emily continued, although Michaela suspected she had still not comprehended the purpose of the story.

"Yes, I think it has. Since then, I've treated not only Jake, but Robert E. as well… Perhaps now with the children, people will realize I'm not going anywhere." Michaela froze, hearing the sound of running footsteps.

"I'm gonna get there first… then _all_ the candy's gonna be mine!" the young girl giggled, pushing through the door, Brian trailing several yards behind her.

"No, no!" The little boy protested, snatching his breath desperately.

Colleen's childish grin fell when she realized she had interrupted the women's conversation.

"S-sorry Dr. Mike, Miss Emily," she apologized profusely.

"That's all right, sweetheart, did you have a pleasant morning?" Michaela smiled, Brian running off to his room to guard his candy supply.

"Yeah… got to finish the book I was readin'," she answered.

"Oh, my heavens, is that the time; my Sam'll be comin' home for his lunch. I'm sorry, Dr. Mike… must be leavin'…" the young woman spoke hurriedly, turning towards the ajar door.

"That's quite all right, Emily. Thank-you for coming over; I do appreciate it." Michaela smiled running her hand along the baby's face. "Come and see me when this little one reaches three months, too."

"Oh, I will, Dr. Mike… and thank-you…" Emily nodded politely, a grin still plastered on her face.

Michaela watched as she made her way out onto the porch and back along the main street.

"Want me to fix lunch, Dr. Mike?" Colleen asked, as soon as Emily had left. "Dr. Mike?" the girl repeated, seeing the woman's vacant expression.

"Sorry? Oh, yes, Colleen… I think the stew is almost ready actually. Colleen, did Matthew say whether he would be home?" Michaela asked hesitantly, she and Matthew not having spoken a word since their altercation the previous day.

"I… think so. Why?" she replied, beginning to set the table.

"After lunch, we need to have a talk." Michaela answered, her tone unreadable.

Colleen shrugged, Brian running back into the room to take Michaela's attention away with a detailed recount of his morning.

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Again, another meal was eaten in uncomfortable silence. Conversation consisted of sentence fragments, sprinkled here and there, with excited utterances from Brian.

Michaela tried several times to establish eye contact with Matthew, the young man looking away indignantly at each opportunity.

"Can I go?" he asked after the fourth such instance.

Michaela looked around, realizing both the younger children had finished their lunch.

"No, Matthew, not just yet," Michaela placed her knife and fork together in the center of the plate.

Matthew frowned, noticing that everyone had obviously finished eating. "So, why not?" he shrugged, Michaela clasped her hands together, forearms resting on the edge of the table.

"I… need to talk with you." She swallowed and looked away.

Frustrated when her gaze came to rest back on her plate, Michaela pushed it aside.

"Dr. Mike?" Colleen questioned, seeing the awkwardness in Michaela's stilted movements.

"I'm afraid there is just no easy way to…" she shook her head, choosing to keep her eyes locked on Brian's as she continued, "… this morning, I received a telegram… from Denver."

"Pa?" Brian's eyes widened excitedly, "is he comin' back… we gonna go stay with him?" the little boy winced as his sister dug her elbow into his side.

"No, sweetheart, it wasn't from your father." Michaela blinked twice, about to press on.

"Then who?" Matthew demanded.

Michaela looked deliberately over at him. If he was going to be respectful enough to talk to her, she would return the civility. "It was from the First National Bank… in Denver. Addressed to your mother…" Michaela saw Matthew's unimpressed glare.

"If it was for Ma, then you had no rite readin' it…" he frowned, Michaela cutting him off this time.

"Now, just wait a minute, Matthew. Mr. Bing gave it to me, seeing as how I am to be responsible for the three of you… indirectly I am responsible for any necessary business matters." Michaela stated assertively, Matthew jumping quickly to his mother's defense.

"Business matters, what business matters… what did it say?" He folded his arms in frustration, throwing a quick look at each of his siblings, as if to check they were still sitting beside him.

"The boarding house, Matthew," she exclaimed, pausing to soften her tone, "they are going to foreclose on the boarding house. I… I'm sorry…" Michaela looked to Colleen, the young girl's eyes lowering.

Matthew's face darkened, his head tilting forwards as he took in the information.

"What's foreclose?" Brian tugged on his brother's right arm.

"It means they're gonna sell it, Brian. It belongs to the bank," he pried his brother's hand away, gripping his wrist, "we can't live here anymore…"

The final sentence silenced all four people in the room.

Brian looked slowly from his brother, to his sister and then finally to Michaela. Colleen looked from Michaela's worried frown of expectation, back down to her hands.

Matthew kept his eyes glued to Michaela's; they both stared each other down, each determined to let the other react first.

"Dr. Mike?" Brian couldn't stand the silence any longer.

Reluctantly, Michaela pulled her gaze from Matthew, to the little boy.

"Where we gonna live?" his voice was small and frightened.

Michaela waited several moments, deliberately shifting her eyes back to Matthew's face.

She knew he would loathe her reply; at the very least, that would force a response from him.

"You shall come and live me…" Michaela saw the young man's eyes dart to her own, his jaw dropping as he pushed himself back in his chair.

"Like hell we will," Matthew seethed,

Michaela retorted just as quickly, "Watch your mouth!"

"Can't tell me what to do, lady!" Matthew arrived to his feet, the spiteful words falling effortlessly from his mouth.

Michaela gulped, realizing they had both risen aggressively to their feet. "I will not allow you to use such language in front of your brother and sister. Apologize." she demanded, hands settling above either hip.

"No way… they wouldn't wanna live with ya neither…" Matthew moved his right arm across to gesture to his siblings.

Michaela, allowing emotion and fury to influence her rational judgment, felt her chest tighten angrily. Hands still at her waist, she addressed Colleen, "Is this true?"

The young girl, caught unfairly between loyalties, alternated her eyes between each of the arguing individuals.

"Well?" Matthew, one eyebrow raised, prompted.

"Matthew… Ma wanted Dr. Mike to look after us. If that's what Ma wanted… then…" she reached her left hand up to pat her younger brother's shoulder, the little boy confused by the harsh words.

"But, we don't _need_ her; don't need anyone," Matthew dismissed proudly.

Michaela sat back down, clasping her hands, determined to keep the situation as contained as possible.

"Matthew, please, be sensible. You're still a very young man… how would you manage, finding somewhere to live… working to support your family…" Michaela tried logical reasoning.

Matthew hesitated before taking his seat once again, pleased that Michaela at least appeared to see his point of view. "Still… my job. Always been my job to help," he lowered his voice, having to look away from Michaela, "… ever since Pa left."

Michaela softened her defensive scowl, finally comprehending his anger, "I understand, Matthew. And I know having your independence is important.

"No, you don't understand," he retorted, however his voice remained low, "had to start working over two years ago… odd jobs here and there, cutting down trees, choppin' wood… anythin' needed to be done… try and help Ma, help _my_ family." He bit down firmly on his lower lip, determined not to let his emotions show.

"And perhaps you feel now, that it was for nothing? Losing your mother… and now your home, I understand if you would feel you'd failed her," Michaela had barely finished her sentence, when Matthew, the defensiveness back in his tone, interrupted.

"You? _You_ wouldn't understand squat about hard work… about workin' sunup 'til sundown just so you and ya family could afford to eat for the next week." Matthew pulled his gaze momentarily to his younger siblings, Colleen lowering her head in deep embarrassment and shame.

"Matthew, I didn't mean," Michaela stammered, still not being able to make her point.

"You got no idea what it feels like, to owe money to people, have you?" He paused, seeing the empty expression of honesty on Michaela's face, "No. Then ya got absolutely _no_ idea what it feels like to… to feel humiliated… to feel like you've let your family down. I hate Pa… _hate_ him for leavin' Ma strugglin', _hate _him for not bein' here now…" Matthew halted only long enough to catch his breath, his hands bunched into fists on the tabletop. "But, even if he were here, were just to show up… can't say I'd even wanna see him… Probably just wanna punch him real hard… makin' Ma feel so… unworthy… after all those years… That it was _her_ fault, when it weren't. That the only reason she had such a miserable life, was coz she loved him." The young man's voice cracked on the final word, tightening his closed fists, eyes narrowing as he swallowed away the anger and grief.

Colleen kept her head lowered throughout her brother's outburst, feeling her fingers clenching Brian's shoulder harder and harder. She didn't want to look up; it was too quiet.

Michaela looked from Colleen's dropped head, to Matthew's cold expression, eyes turning to Brian, just as the stunned child burst into frightened tears.

"Stop it…" he whimpered, burying his face down in his folded arms.

"Oh, Brian… it's, all right…" Michaela pulled herself swiftly from the chair, arriving between Colleen and the little boy.

"No, it ain't… you don't like Matthew… and he don't like you… and… and Ma just wanted everybody to like everybody… you're," he sobbed, gasping for breath, "you're both gonna make her mad…"

Michaela and Matthew both looked up over the boy's blond hair, catching eyes. Their gazes lingering as Brian's desperate sobs continued, Matthew shrugged, nodding for Michaela to comfort him.

"Brian, listen to me." Michaela turned the boy's chair around to face her. "You're right when you said your mother wanted people to like everyone; she did. But she also thought honesty was very important." Michaela waited for Brian to control his tears, rubbing his eyes with his delicate hands and slowly looking up at her. "This is very new, to all of us. And it is hard to deal with change sometimes; especially when change is a sad thing." She reached for the boy's upper arms, pulling them gently away from his eyes, so she could see his face. "Brian… I know Matthew and I sounded angry, however, it was just because we had differing opinions," Michaela glanced quickly over Brian's head, expecting a wisecrack from Matthew.

She was momentarily stunned by the softness and encouragement she saw in his eyes. "It's important that when people feel differently about something, that they can discuss it. That's what makes a family strong; that people know they can talk with one another about anything… about their feelings, good things… even bad things that happen. I apologize if we upset you, sweetheart." Michaela stroked the sides of his arms tenderly, Colleen looking up at her older brother glaringly.

"I'm, I'm sorry too…" Matthew leant forwards to place his hand on Brian's head for several seconds.

"You mean it?" The little boy turned in his seat, looking between Michaela and Matthew.

"We mean it. We don't promise that we will never have another disagreement, because that would be a lie, however, we apologize for frightening you." Michaela adjusted her footing, knowing she wasn't meant to be a mother, purely by the ache in her knees after several minutes of crouching.

"Matthew?" Brian looked upwards.

"Yeah, little brother?" Matthew ruffled his hair several times before removing his hand.

"If Colleen and I go live with Dr. Mike… will you come with us?" his voice was shaky, his eyes wide in concern.

After another glance from Michaela back to Brian, Matthew quickly nodded with a hesitant smile. "'Course I will, don't you worry."

Brian nodded more confidently, "Ma wouldn't want us fighitn', would she Colleen…" he enlisted his sister's support artfully.

"Brian's right." The little girl sighed, trying to lighten the mood by beginning to clear away the lunch dishes.

Michaela stood, hearing her right knee joint crack under her. "Thank-you, Colleen," she acknowledged, moving quickly to assist the young girl.

Matthew waited until he felt the tension lift. "Brian… how about goin' fishin' this afternoon… see if we can find somethin' for dinner." He looked up as Michaela turned around. "Is, ah… that all right, Dr. Mike?"

Michaela gestured towards the door, "That's fine. Certainly saves Colleen and myself the worry of organizing supper." Michaela heard the young girl snicker humorously from the basin.

"Dr. Mike… you ain't seen those two fish... Trust me, I'd have a backup meal prepared if you intend on eatin' tonight." Colleen teased, barely missing the napkin that Matthew threw across the room at her.

"Oi, watch it… Or the only one that'll be eatin' that meal will be _you_." He chuckled, both boys crossing the room and vanishing into the hallway to go collect the necessary equipment.

Colleen returned her attention to the dishes she was carefully scrubbing. "Dr. Mike?"

"Yes?" Michaela scraped the uneaten scraps of food from the plates.

"I… I thought ya handled Matthew real well…" she looked away as Michaela placed the stacked dishes next to her, "Sorry… maybe I shouldn't a said nothin'… just… I felt bad him talkin' to ya like that… he… he don't mean it. Just tryin' to protect us." Colleen felt Michaela's hand on her back.

"I know that, Colleen. I'm sorry it has to be so difficult for the three of you." Michaela patted the young girl's back twice, before removing her hand and walking around behind her to begin drying the washed cups and cutlery.

"Ain't no excuse, though… still shouldn't a spoke to ya like he did. Weren't your fault." Colleen saw the regret that appeared in Michaela's eyes.

"I'm just sorry there wasn't more I could have done." Michaela paused, becoming lost in a momentary daydream, reliving the events of the previous day.

Able to hear Charlotte's fading voice in her mind, Michaela was only pulled back to her current surroundings when she felt the warm, soapy water of a freshly washed plate trail up her arm.

"Doctor… Mike?" Colleen saw the faraway look in the physician's eyes.

"Oh… sorry, I was just…" Michaela shook the remnants of the flashback away, concentrating on drying the metal plate.

"Thinkin' a Ma?" Colleen supplied.

"How did you…?" Michaela reached for the next plate.

"So was I," she answered, her voice hushed.

Michaela smiled warmly at the young girl, the pair finishing the dishes in peaceful silence.


	5. Chapter 5

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**Part 2 – A Life **

**_One Day Later _**

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**Chapter 5 **

Michaela was stirred from what had been a deep sleep, by a distant sobbing. Taking a moment to reorient herself, she pushed the patchwork quilt aside and pulled herself to the edge of the bed. As her bare feet touched the chilled floorboards, she reached for her nightgown, the distressed cries intensifying.

By the time she had arrived out into the hallway, Michaela could hear Colleen's soothing voice and realized both children were yet again in the girl's bedroom.

Squinting against the morning light, as she walked slowly towards the ajar door, Michaela knew it was barely dawn.

"Colleen?" she whispered, pushing gently on the wooden door.

"I… I'm sorry Dr. Mike…" Colleen looked up, her arms locked around her brother's back.

Michaela shook her head and moved more quickly to the side of the mattress. "It's fine, it's fine… sweetheart… what's wrong?" she cupped the back of Brian's head, the small boy's traumatized sobs not relenting.

"He came in 'bout an hour ago, said he had a bad dream… 'bout Ma… we both got back to sleep… 'til now… Said he had another dream… won't stop cryin'…" Colleen, her face red with worry, explained, Michaela struggling to hear over Brian's tears.

"Brian… sweetheart, it's all right… Everything's all right…" Michaela tried to pry the little boy away from his sister. He wouldn't budge.

"No, I want Ma… Ma…" he whimpered, new tears trickling from his eyes, down to his jaw line, where, one by one, they fell to the quilt below.

"Brian… Ma's gone. Dr. Mike's here though." Colleen, distraught and sleep deprived, tried to detach her brother from her chest.

"No!" he protested, only grasping more firmly to his sister's nightdress, writhing from Michaela's touch to the point where she had to let go completely.

Michaela and Colleen shared helpless looks.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Mike… He wouldn't tell me what the dream was about… but won't stop cryin' neither…" Despite Michaela's attempts to conceal it, Colleen saw the flash of rejection in her eyes.

"Stay with him, Colleen… see if he will settle on his own." Michaela patted the girl's hand, quickly dashing from the room to return moments later with her medical bag.

Colleen, now rocking the wailing boy in her arms, looked up as Michaela open the black bag and searched for the small bottle.

"How long has he been crying like this?" Michaela reached for the little boy's wrist, detecting his elevated pulse rate.

"At least five minutes or so now. Tried to talk to him… tried tellin' him nice stuff 'bout Ma… that just seems to make it worse; just cries even harder for her then." Colleen replied, frowning, when Michaela tipped a small amount of Laudanum onto a teaspoon.

"Here… help me to give him this. It will settle him enough to let him rest for awhile." Colleen pulled Brian's lowered head from her shoulder, Michaela awkwardly managing to get the teaspoon to his lips.

"Sweetheart, here… open your mouth. Brian." Michaela persuaded forcefully. In the end, she had to manually part his quivering lips, but as the child was too incoherent from crying, had little difficulty in encouraging him to swallow the medicine.

"He ain't sick is he?" Colleen, worried by Michaela's professional demeanor, enquired.

"No… but he was very distressed. It's best to calm him. Then he will either be lucid enough to talk with, or at least sleep." Michaela closed the metal clasp of her bag, and Colleen continued rubbing Brian's back.

"I'm sorry he woke you…" the little girl apologized, her hair messy and partially obscuring her face.

"It's not a bother, Colleen. I'm just rather surprised Matthew wasn't awoken." Michaela looked back out into the corridor.

"Oh, there could be a fire and you wouldn't wake him." She smiled, "but start fryin' up some bacon… and he'll be up in no time." Both she and Michaela chuckled, noticing Brian's wailing start to abate.

"There…" Michaela leant over to check his pulse once again.

"You're right… his eyes are droopin'," Colleen moved her arms from Brian's back, the little boy falling weakly away from her.

"Here… I'll put him back to bed." Michaela reached forwards to secure one arm around his back, the other around the back of his legs.

"Can… I sleep a little bit longer?" Colleen cringed, seeing the orange sunlight through her window.

"Of course, darling. For as long as you wish… I'll wake you when breakfast is ready?" Michaela braced herself, scooping the child into her arms and raising him from the bed.

"Thanks, Dr. Mike…" Colleen nestled back down in her bed, pulling the quilt snuggly over her cold torso and arms.

"I'll sit with Brian, just in case he should stir," Michaela whispered, looking down at the sleeping child in her arms.

Colleen nodded and watched as Michaela carried Brian out into the hallway. Letting her eyes close, the young girl was comforted by the sound of footsteps in the next room.

She drifted back to sleep very quickly, knowing her brother was in safe hands.

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Michaela was struggling with a pot of dry, overcooked oatmeal, when Matthew paced into the kitchen for breakfast.

"Ah… is that oatmeal?" He enquired softly, glancing over Michaela's left shoulder.

"It was… at one point." She sighed, defeated and removed the large pot from the stove. "I'm sorry, Matthew… I wanted to give Colleen a break. She's been up all night with Brian," Michaela remembered the toast she had at least been successful in browning, and handed Matthew a plate with two pieces. "Here… sorry, I think they might be a little cold,"

"It's, ah… fine…" he replied. Taking a seat, Matthew began buttering his meager breakfast. "Is Brian all right?"

Michaela turned around to answer him, wiping her hands tiredly in her apron. "He's not been sleeping very well… Colleen said last night was especially bad."

"Oh… he's asleep now, though?" Matthew gestured towards their rooms.

"Yes, I… I gave him something to settle him… but it can not become a regular occurrence." She watched as Matthew chewed on his first mouthful of toast.

"I… was thinkin'," he swallowed, trying to appear as though he was enjoying the stone cold food, "Ain't there some way… you can stop the bank foreclosin'? I mean, explain about Ma dyin' and…" Matthew trailed off, not even sure what he was actually asking.

Michaela folded her arms, looking to the floor and then back at him before answering, "Matthew, I did consider paying off the mortgage. But I… don't think it would be the right thing to do. I think it would be in everyone's best interest, to… have a fresh start. Besides, I can't be running a boarding house… as well as a medical practice." Michaela defended her decision, not noticing the small amount of smoke that had wafted from the oven.

"You mean, we could a stayed here?" Matthew dropped the half eaten slice of toast back to his plate.

"Now Matthew, I said I considered it… but surely you agree, starting over, is in everyone's best interests." Michaela arrived at the end of the table, hands automatically going to her hips.

"Ain't so sure I do. I mean, obviously Brian ain't taken to it so good… You yourself just said last night was the worst he'd ever been." Matthew didn't realize the effect Michaela's body language had had on his mood.

"Yes, however, I do not believe the two events were related." Michaela challenged, hearing the defensiveness in the young man's tone.

"How would you know, anyway." He looked away, "Can't believe you just decided to move us all… when weren't any need," Matthew tried to keep himself under control, however felt the anger rising in his chest. _How dare she make these decisions. _

"I take it you disagree?" Michaela dropped her arms to her sides, for the first time becoming aware of the feint smell of smoke.

"You're darn right, I disagree," Matthew rose from his chair, dropping his head to apologize for his language. "Sorry, I… yes, I disagree. Colleen and Brian already lost Pa, then Ma. Now their home, too. Least ya coulda done was ask us." He pushed his chair back under the table, not bothered trying to conceal his anger any longer.

"There's no sense in delaying this any further. We can pack up this morning and travel out to the homestead by lunchtime." Michaela stated.

"Don't got a choice, do I." he groaned, refusing to look at her. "Gotta get the horses ready then… if you're sure you know what you're doin'…"

"It's my decision, Matthew… I'm sorry, however I believe this is the best thing to do. For everyone." Michaela watched as the boy pulled his jacket on and moved towards the front door.

"Best for you, ya mean…" He shook his head, frowning when he noticed the smoke pouring from the oven behind her.

Michaela was about to defend her decision, Matthew however, not giving her the chance, "Somethin's burnin'…" he announced, opening the door and stepping out onto the porch.

"What?" Michaela gasped, turning around to see for herself.

In between rushing to open the oven, Michaela turned back to finish the conversation she'd been having with Matthew, to be met by the sound of a closing door.

Pulling the blackened remains of what was once a dozen hot biscuits from the oven, Michaela let out a frustrated groan.

Again, a conversation with Matthew had ended bitterly, and, again, she had ruined another perfectly good meal.

Michaela leaned up against the large stove, shaking her head several times. Her father had been right; she was never meant to be a homemaker.

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"Brian, stop it!" Colleen bellowed, pulling the little boy away from the pile of disarrayed bedclothes.

It was not even ten in the morning and he had awoken only twenty minutes earlier.

Before leaving to prepare the homestead, Michaela had helped Colleen pack the few boxes and suitcases they would be taking; nothing more than clothes, books and other memorabilia.

"I said quit it!" the young girl demanded a second time, Brian having bundled all the sheets, quilts and pillows he could find into one huge pile in the center of his bed, disappearing underneath them all.

"Don't wanna go!" he hollered back, his head poking out for several seconds before darting back under the covers.

"That ain't up to you, Brian, now I told ya, get outa there!" Colleen crossed the room to yank a handful of covers away.

"No! Mine, mine!" he screeched, unable to decide whether leaving his 'fort' to retrieve them from Colleen was worth the risk.

"You just stay here while I try cleanin' up. Matthew'll be back any minute… and then you'll be in trouble." She shook her head, leaving the room to remake the nearby beds.

Brian waited until he heard her footsteps move along the hallway and into the next room, before he cunningly popped his head out again. All clear. Surveying the room, with the beady eyes of a vindictive, angry child, he spotted a trunk of neatly packed clothes by the doorway.

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"Mornin'… well, almost lunchtime I guess. Afternoon Matthew." Robert E. looked up from the horseshoe he was molding, as the young man approached.

"Hey, Robert E. Just wanted to come by… collect the horses…" He sighed, feeling awkward about discussing their living arrangements further.

"You all movin' out to the homestead so soon?" the blacksmith dipped the shoe into the nearby bucket of cold water.

"How'd ya know that?" Matthew folded his arms, leaning up against the fence.

"Dr. Mike come an' told me this mornin', when she picked up Bear… Got the wagon all harnessed." He reached for his swagger and took a well-earned drink.

"Oh, she did, did she?" Matthew frowned, intrigued as to just how much of their business was common knowledge. "She say why?"

"Can't say she did, no… just figured… that's her home… and since you're livin' with her… made sense…" Robert E. wiped a cloth over his damp forehead.

"Hmm…" Matthew shrugged, about to turn and head over to the livery when the blacksmith continued.

"Matthew, I get the feelin' this ain't sittin' right with you?" his voice was non-judgmental.

"Could say that… I dunno… probably easier for Colleen… bein' a girl… and Brian's still a kid… but don't wanna be livin' with some woman I hardly know." Matthew found his teeth returning to his lower lip.

"Thought you all liked Dr. Mike?" He tossed the cloth aside, bending and straightening the sore fingers on his right hand.

"Ain't that… but… sure liked her a lot more when she weren't runnin' my life," Matthew lowered his eyes, knowing that statement wasn't quite true.

"She don't seem like the type a lady do somethin' you children didn't want…" Robert E. considered.

Matthew shrugged, guilt creeping in, "No, well… guess she's only doin' what she thinks is right…"

"You sure it ain't coz you're havin' to obey someone else, 'sides ya Ma?" Robert E. lifted the tattered cap from his head, pacing over to Matthew's side. "Look, son… since ya Pa 'left'," he used the word awkwardly, most townsfolk aware that Ethan Cooper wasn't dead, despite the pretense, "know you and ya Ma been closer… know she'd been lettin' ya… take care a ya family… and know you been workin' awful hard. Only natural gonna be an adjustment, after what's happened…"

Matthew nodded, his gaze still downcast, "It's fine for Brian… he's too little… and Colleen and Dr. Mike always seemed to get along great; Colleen looks up to her, havin' been to college and all… like a big sister, I suppose. But I don't know where that leaves me… Don't feel right… she ain't my Ma…" He repositioned himself against the fence, arms tightly folded.

"Ahh…" Robert E. sighed in understanding, "now it's beginnin' to make sense…"

"What?" Matthew's eyes moved quickly to him, startled.

Robert E. broke into an amused chuckle. "You're embarrassed." He laughed heartily, yet with respect.

"I… am not… not embarrassed…" Matthew blushed, swallowing uncomfortably, "well… not much…"

"Aww, son… now if that's what was botherin' ya… why didn't ya come talk to me sooner." Robert E. secured his right arm around the young man's back.

"Weren't… so much of a problem 'til we had to move. You've seen Sully's place… it's one room… how we gonna fit four people, two of which are _women_ into one, tiny room?" His face was still red as he shifted his arms uncomfortably.

"So you… sleep in the barn," Robert E. shrugged with a grin; understanding how difficult it had been for Matthew to admit his ill-ease.

"Yeah, guess I could… Brian's still a kid… Dr. Mike dotes on him anyway…" He nodded, greatly comforted by the idea.

"Had the same problem when my daughter got a little older… ya just get used to knocking; announcing ya presence 'fore ya barge through doorways. Becomes habit real quick. After a week or so, routine'll set in…" He dropped his arm from Matthew's back.

"Thanks, Robert E., glad I could talk to ya…" Matthew reached forwards to shake his hand.

"Anytime, son. You just take care now…" Robert E. smiled, patting him on the back a final time, as Matthew nodded, dug his hands into his pockets and sauntered away towards the livery.

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Michaela had stood in the middle of the small homestead for over five minutes, turning every so often to move a picture or an ornament; anything that appeared out of place.

The dishes were neatly stacked, her bed perfectly made, there was nothing more she could do until the children arrived.

"Dr. Mike?" she heard the distant voice, accompanied by a gentle knock at the front door.

Frowning, not having heard a wagon, Michaela opened it, a wet nose pushing its way through the doorway and squeezing into the room beside her.

"Wolf! Sorry…" Sully shrugged, calling the animal back to his side.

"Mr. Sully… I, wasn't expecting to be seeing you… is something the matter?" Michaela unconsciously smoothed her hands over her skirt, opening the door and welcoming him inside.

"No, no nothing, just heard you and the kids movin' back out here… thought ya might be needin' some help?" He cleared his throat, looking around for the first time at the freshly cleaned room.

"They're riding out nearer lunchtime," Michaela replied, following his gaze around the room.

"Right…" Sully muttered, suddenly realizing he'd as much just barged into her house. "Sorry, I… am I intrudin'?" he moved back towards the door, embarrassed.

"No, not at all. Shall I make some tea?" she offered, gesturing for him to have a seat at the table.

"Be nice…" he replied.

Sully settled the wolf by his feet, tapping his foot lightly against the floorboards as Michaela set the crockery on the table and boiled the water.

"Where ah, ya plannin' to put the kids?" He muttered, the question coming out comically without him intending it to.

Michaela carefully poured two steaming cups of tea before looking up at him, "I… don't know…" she sighed, taking the seat opposite him.

Sully hesitated, seeing the pure exhaustion displayed on her face for the first time. He watched her stir the single teaspoon of sugar into the fine china cup, before daring to reply. "If you wanted… I could help?" He looked across the table towards the empty side room, "Could easy put some boards down… lay mattresses over 'em… 'least be somewhere for 'em to sleep."

Michaela nodded half-heartedly, keeping her eyes lowered to the dark brown tea. "Maybe I shouldn't have brought them here…" she trailed off wearily.

"Robert E. said the bank foreclosed. What choice did ya have?" Sully answered, sipping the rich tea quietly.

"I… could have paid out the mortgage… maybe I shouldn't have done this at all… maybe I'm not the right person…" she blinked several times, looking away towards the fireplace. "I never wanted anything this… complicated… I'm too selfish…" she continued, forgetting there was another person in the room.

Sully waited until he knew she had finished voicing her thoughts, sipping once again on the warm liquid. "You're bein' too hard on yaself. Charlotte wouldn't a asked ya if she didn't believe ya were the right person…"

"Well, perhaps I'm not…" Michaela tightened the tan shawl over her white blouse.

"You'll do fine, Dr. Mike… Just take it slow. Let the children know they can trust ya. All got to get to know each other. Gonna take time, like I said," Sully tried to sound reassuring.

"I still have doubts… perhaps they would have been better placed with a couple; people they are more familiar with." Michaela sighed, looking away, not wishing to be challenged further.

Both sipped lightly on their tea for several moments in silence.

"Dr. Mike… I can understand if ya feelin' overwhelmed. Change is always difficult, 'specially when it's sudden," His tone darkened, as he too glanced away, down to the wolf at his side. "Took me a long time to get over losin' Abigail and the baby. 'Fore I could understand how what was gonna be the happiest time of my life could end up bein' the saddest." Sully rotated the china cup around on the small saucer.

"I'm sorry," Michaela averted her gaze, a strange feeling of familiarity surfacing when she looked into his eyes.

"Don't be. Was just the way things were meant to be." Sully kept his voice evenly-paced.

"But that's so fatalistic…" Michaela judged quickly, her voice confident.

"That's life. Our destinies are preplanned," Sully reaffirmed, seeing the scowl of disagreement over Michaela's face.

"I don't… believe that," she phrased awkwardly, surprised that she was finding it so difficult to challenge Sully's views. "I was raised to believe we control our own fate, Mr. Sully. The decisions we make determine the path we will follow." Michaela saw him look away, obviously disagreeing.

"Best we just agree to differ then. Now's not the time…" Sully whispered,

"Fine," Michaela muttered, her jaw tightening.

"Fine…" Sully repeated, idly tapping his right foot against the floorboards.

"You don't mind?" Michaela finally spoke, breaking the silence.

"Mind?" Sully looked at her strangely.

"I'm sorry… I bring three children here, without so much as asking you. Do, do you mind?" she stammered, knowing that any posed objection would make things very awkward.

Sully merely smiled, a large, intrigued smile. "No, I don't mind…" He was fascinated by her properness. And then, remembered the sight of her in a heap by the side of the large horse. "I'll go into town if ya want… pick up some timber… anything ya need?" Sully placed the delicate cup back on the saucer.

"I… I don't think so…" Michaela rose to her feet, locating her medical bag and fishing out the small bag inside it. "Here…" she tried to hand him a five dollar note.

"What's that for?" he frowned, moving away towards the door.

"For the timber…" Michaela sighed as he shook his head.

"Ain't takin' money from ya. It's my place, I'll fix it." Sully opened the door, looking back at her a final time with an amused smirk.

"Don't be ridiculous. Please," Michaela extended her arm forwards more deliberately.

"I said I'd fix it," Sully turned away, his voice colder this time.

"Thank-you…" she placed the bag back on the mantel.

"Be back soon. Have the beds fixed later this afternoon." He nodded politely, calling the wolf to his side and jogging swiftly away from the cabin.

Michaela arrived in the doorway as she watched him leave. Glancing back towards the mantel, she checked the clock. Eleven-fifty. It wouldn't be much longer now.

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"Dr. Mike's gonna be mad… she said come out 'fore lunch, Matthew…" Colleen complained, Matthew having taken longer to load the wagon than she'd expected.

"Weren't nothin' I could do 'bout that… Least you coulda done, was stop him unpacking all my clothes…" Matthew moved his head to glare back at his little brother.

Brian sat on a large chest, pouting, uncomfortable from both the rough journey, as well as being taken from the only home he could remember.

"Well if _you_ hadn't a been out so long… wouldn't a happened…" Colleen retorted, as Matthew ordered the horses onwards.

"Leave it out… all ya had to do was look after him for couple a hours. Never used to be a problem." Matthew groused, unaware of the lack of sleep Colleen had obtained the night before.

"Never used to _just_ be me…" she defended quickly, wrapping the navy blue cape firmly around her shoulders and chest, against the cold wind.

"Hardly my fault." The two siblings continued their argumentative banter backwards and forwards as the horses increased their pace.

"Dunno 'bout that… you oughta cleaned out the pantry last month when ya said ya would. Rattler wouldn't a been in there, that way." Colleen narrowed her eyes, knowing the remark had been cutting.

"Real nice, Colleen. If Dr. Mike were any kind a doctor, wouldn't a let Ma die," Matthew stepped up to the challenge, his reply equally as nasty.

"What would you know?" she fumed.

"Hush up, almost there," Matthew ordered, as he turned onto the dusty path which led to the small, secluded cabin.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

Michaela had waited in the open doorway until she saw Sully and the wolf disappear from sight. About to turn around and go back inside, she heard the feint bustle of an approaching wagon. She could feel the wind against the fine wisps of her hair and draped the edge of her shawl further across her chest with her right arm.

Michaela stepped slowly across the porch and down the front steps of the homestead as Matthew pulled the horses to a stop. She studied each of the children in turn; Brian appeared cramped and grumpy, Colleen cold and tired, and Matthew… She tried to ascertain Matthew's mood, just as he turned to address her.

"The horses are ours… So is everything else." He jumped down from the wagon, barely acknowledging Michaela's presence. "We're free to take it when we leave," he continued in a matter-of-fact tone.

Michaela's mouth involuntarily dropped, as she grasped the edges of her skirt. "But you only just got here…"

The young man paced assertively across the yard towards the barn, not even bothering to glance back at her as he spoke, "I'm gonna be stayin' in the barn," he approached it, opening the door to inspect his sleeping quarters.

"I don't wanna live here…" Brian whined, scrunching his face up.

Colleen, having remained quiet during Matthew's outburst, hushed her brother tiredly, "Well, you got no choice…"

Michaela looked from the younger children, still seated in the wagon, back to Matthew, as the barn door shut noisily.

"There's room for a cow in here…" his tone was gruff, taking charge immediately.

_All right. Fine. If this is how he wishes to behave._ Michaela drew a deep breath and looked towards him. "Yes, well… the truth is… I, I don't know how to take care of one," she shrugged, Matthew cutting her off quickly.

"But you know how to take care of us, right?" He stomped angrily back towards the wagon.

Frowning, she retorted immediately, "now wait a minute, Matthew; I never claimed to know anything about being a mother…" Michaela could not longer abide the sarcasm in his voice.

"You're not gonna _be_ our mother…" He looked at her directly for the first time since arriving out to the homestead.

Colleen noticed the uncomfortable tension and quickly decided to start getting things unpacked. "Come on…" she muttered to Brian and they both climbed down.

Michaela, having had suitable time to collect her thoughts after Matthew's harsh words, tentatively replied, "I didn't mean that, you know what I mean…" she kept her voice soft, "I… I'm just not good at being a homemaker." Michaela took a breath. "Most doctors aren't, and that's what I am…" she looked downwards, her doubt resurfacing, "a doctor."

Michaela waited, glancing back up at the young man, surprised that he had not responded. She watched him begin to unharness the horses, her voice softening further, "I was hoping that… that we might learn from one other," she stopped, seeing Matthew's discomfort.

The young man tried to remain occupied in tending to the horses, however finally gave in and met her gaze.

"I'm willing if you are." Michaela finished honestly, knowing that, whatever his response, she had said what was needed.

It was now up to Matthew.

Both Michaela and Matthew kept they eyes locked, neither speaking for several moments. Michaela could sense Matthew wanted to, however, knew masculine pride was preventing him.

Brian couldn't stand the polite conversation any longer. Tired, cold and angry, the little boy lashed out with the only nasty remark he could think of, "I wanna go home!" It worked. Colleen, Matthew and Michaela all turned to look at him.

Brian felt his shoulders rising and falling with frustration. Looking between Dr. Mike and his brother, the little boy wasn't sure who would respond to his demand first.

"Well, you can't." Matthew snapped, his voice low, his expression cold.

Brian, pulling his little face tighter into a miserable pout, squinted, pouring all the hatred he could muster into one determined frown.

_I hate it here… I wanna go home… it's not fair… _

He pulled sharply away from his sister's side, breaking into a emotionally-fuelled run.

"Brian!" Michaela shook her head, looking to Matthew who immediately chased after him.

Still the little boy pounded his feet into the dirt, running as hard as he could, until his brother caught up with him, grabbing his shoulders.

"Where do you think you're goin'?" he lifted him clear off the ground, the little boy's arms and legs writhing against the contact.

"I'm running away to live with the Cheyenne! Let go!" his legs flailed as he struggled desperately against his older brother's grasp.

Michaela and Colleen arrived behind the two boys.

"Calm down!" Matthew had no intentions of letting Brian go in that state.

Throwing his legs forwards and squirming violently against his brother, Brian gasped for breath, his kicks gradually weakening.

Michaela reached to touch the boy's arm, moving backwards to avoid being kicked. Pulling him away from Matthew, Michaela succeeded in lowering him to the ground.

Brian recoiled from her hand as he ran forwards, the hard surface once again under his feet. A hand on his left upper arm pulled him back and the little boy turned, running out of energy.

He rotated his arms in front of him, trying to jostle the contact away, grunting in frustration when it didn't work.

Michaela, a hand on the back of the boy's jacket to secure him, saw the raw display of fury played out, the little boy's clenched fists hitting her waist several times.

As she looked up to Matthew for assistance, once she felt the movement stop. Michaela looked down as two small hands secured themselves to her skirt, Brian's head nestling in defeat against her stomach.

Michaela stared down at the clutching child for a moment in disbelief, before glancing back up to Matthew and Colleen; all three not having expected the little boy to cling so desperately to her.

Hearing the child's exhausted, pained sobs, Michaela brought her hands to his arm and head, soothingly stroking Brian's fair hair, as his strangled cries continued.

"Ssh…" Michaela whispered, rocking the small boy gently against her, still looking between Matthew and Colleen. Matthew, hands in his pockets, turned away, striding briskly back to the horses.

"He's been real upset, Dr. Mike," Colleen stepped towards her, as the little boy lifted his head up.

"Sweetheart… how about we all go inside… and we can start packing your things away." Michaela neatened his hair, as Brian kept his hand securely locked to the side of her skirt.

"Yes, ma'am," he whispered, as they walked slowly back towards the homestead.

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"How's that, then?" Sully patted the mattress he'd just secured to the large sheet of board.

"Thank-you," Michaela smiled, stirring the simmering soup.

"I want that one!" Brian pointed quickly to the left mattress.

"Fine… they're both the same," Colleen rolled her eyes and carried a pile of quilts and sheets to the mattresses.

"Can Sully stay for supper, Dr. Mike?" Brian turned around, as Sully finished tidying up the left over cuts of wood and nails.

"_Brian!_" Colleen hissed.

"It's all right… of course he may, Brian…" Michaela looked up from the stove towards Sully.

"Really, don't wanna put ya to no bother… got enough do to settlin' in…" He crossed the room, reaching for the door.

"You're most welcome to stay, Mr. Sully… After all the work you've just finished… surely you must be famished…" Michaela offered a second time, Brian quickly abandoning his new bed and running over to grab Sully's hand.

"Please, ya just gotta… please?" Brian begged, Sully shrugging, not appearing to mind either way.

"Fine, then…" he muttered, keeping his eyes low, as the child let go of his hand.

"Great… can I show ya the new toy I got?" Brian barely waited for a nod of reply before he dashed across to the stack of unpacked trunks and began searching for his ball and cup game.

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"_Brian_," Michaela chastised, seeing the little boy slip a piece of meat under the table for the waiting wolf.

"But Sully did it first, Dr. Mike…" he defended his actions, however made the moment more awkward.

"That doesn't mean you have to. If Sully jumped off a cliff, would you?" Michaela tried to make her point, however saw an amused smirk appear on Sully's face.

"Well, if he did, then gotta be a good reason…" Brian shrugged, Colleen watching as Michaela's shoulders sunk; that example certainly hadn't worked.

"Sorry," Sully apologized resting his arms on the edge of the table.

Michaela looked to the right of her chair, as Wolf dropped to the ground with a disappointed whine.

"Best be goin', thanks for supper," Sully tapped his thigh, Wolf getting eagerly to his feet.

"There's no reason for you to leave so abruptly…" Michaela frowned, worried that her earlier words had caused his departure.

"Thought, seein' as it's ya first night and all, might wanna get settled… 'sides, gettin' late…" Sully gestured to the clock above the mantel as he removed the napkin from his lap and pushed back his chair.

"Really, it's only seven forty-five," Michaela gasped, glancing to Colleen, "I've done it again… Brian, sweetheart, you'd best prepare for bed." Michaela reached for the plates around her, quickly stacking them.

"Aw, do I gotta?" the little boy fussed, embarrassed that he was being sent to bed when there was still company.

"Yes, Brian… go on. Your pajamas are on your pillow." Michaela smiled, Colleen taking the stack of dishes from her and moving them over to the basin.

"I'm sorry… I didn't realize it was so late…" Michaela looked back at Sully apologetically, crossing the room behind him and opening the door.

"Don't matter, night kids…" He nodded to Colleen and Matthew in turn.

"Night, Sully…" Colleen replied, pouring the large bucket of water into the kettle on the stove to boil.

"Yeah, night. Thanks for ya help…" Matthew pushed his chair back under the table.

"Glad to help… hope it all goes well. I… I can stop by, if ya need anythin'?" Sully offered, feeling uncomfortable that perhaps Michaela or the children might get the wrong idea.

"We'll be fine." Matthew grumbled back without delay, looking across to Michaela.

"Gonna finish feedin' the horses, then havin' an early night." He spoke, not giving her the chance to respond, before he slipped between them and out onto the porch.

Michaela sighed, before looking back to Sully. "Thank-you," she whispered, feeling guilty for Matthew's rudeness.

"Night Brian!" Sully smiled, sure the little boy had thought he'd forgotten him.

"Night… night Sully…" Brian appeared quickly from behind the curtain, his adorable yellow pajamas half buttoned up.

"Thanks for supper," Sully acknowledged a second time, beckoning the wolf and striding through the door.

Michaela nodded and slowly closed the door behind him.

"You get to bed now, ya hear?" Colleen shooed the little boy away with a tea towel.

"I'm goin'," Brian rolled his eyes, looking between Colleen and Michaela nervously. "Dr. Mike?"

"Hmm?" Michaela had paced back across the room to help Colleen start the dishes.

"Ya gonna… tuck me in?" He dropped his eyes, biting his lower lip.

"Of course, Brian…" Michaela smiled, dried her hands and followed the child to his bed.

"Dr. Mike?" Brian waited until she had pulled back the quilt before slipping between the sheets.

"Yes?" Michaela sat on the edge of the mattress, draping the sheet and quilt back up over the little boy's chest.

"How do I not have a bad dream?" He studied her, desperate for the magic answer.

"Sweetheart, I don't know if there's any way to actually stop them… try thinking about nice things before you go to sleep… Think about things that make you happy." Michaela tucked the sides of the quilt under the thin mattress.

"I'll try…" he spoke softly, not convinced.

"Brian," Michaela paused, looking from the closed curtain to the sleepy child, "you know… you may come and wake me if you are scared…" she tried to make her words sound sincere, although still felt confused herself.

"Won't ya be mad?" Brian clasped his hands together over the quilt.

"No, sweetheart; I promise I won't be angry… I do think Colleen needs her rest, however…" Michaela leant forwards to move a strand of hair from Brian's forehead.

"Is she mad?" His chin quivered and his eyes narrowed.

"No, no… your sister loves you very much, Brian," Michaela reassured instantly.

"What about you, Dr. Mike?" Brian looked down at his interlocked fingers. "Do you love us?"

Michaela reached for the child's clasped hands, wanting to affirmatively answer his question with the sincerity he expected.

"Brian… your mother was my best friend. In some ways I grew to love her more than some of my own sisters," Michaela looked upwards, distant memories of childhood tortures coming back to her.

"Then, if ya loved Ma… then don't that mean ya love us… coz we loved her too…" He rolled over onto his right side, supporting his head in his right hand.

"I suppose, sweetheart…" Michaela smiled, shaking her head at the boy's intelligent deduction.

"Do you think she can see us? See what we're doin'… and when we talk 'bout her?" He spoke thoughtfully, Michaela hearing the tiredness begin to creep into his small voice.

"I'm sure she can… I'll bet she's watching you all the time. Even when you grow up, she will still be able to see you. And even though she's not with you, she'll be proud of you, of the wonderful person you are going to grow up to be," Michaela stroked Brian's left arm tenderly.

"Then I gotta be good, don't I… if Ma can always see me…" He looked slightly concerned by the idea.

"I suppose that's as good a reason as any," Michaela placed her hand back in her lap, looking up as she heard a pot clink through the curtain. "I really should help your sister with the dishes. Are you feeling sleepy, Brian?" Michaela stood and smoothed out the quilt where she had been sitting.

"Uh-huh," he nodded, wiping his eyes with his hands.

"Sleep well," Michaela reached for the thin curtain, "oh, and say your prayers, sweetheart."

"Yes, ma'am…" Brian replied, drawing his hands together.

Michaela smiled for a moment, before stepping around the curtain.

After scanning the table for any dishes or cutlery, Michaela arrived by Colleen's side at the basin.

"Is that true, Dr. Mike?" the little girl kept her eyes focused on the dishes she was scrubbing.

"Is what true?" Michaela asked, beginning to dry a nearby stack of plates.

"What ya said to Brian… 'bout lovin' Ma…" Colleen's voice was blank, sure Michaela had only said what she had to please Brian.

"Yes; it's true, Colleen. I wouldn't say something that wasn't true." Michaela finished drying the first plate.

"That why you didn't say ya loved us… Coz wouldn't be true…" Colleen wasted no time in arriving at the actual question she'd intended upon asking.

Michaela stopped wiping the cup in her hand, frowning and looking up at the young girl. "Colleen… when I said that to Brian… I didn't mean… it's only been a short time…" Michaela tried to speak truthfully, however, quickly discovered the difference between honesty and complete truthfulness.

"If ya don't love us, then why ya lookin' after us? Know it ain't what you wanted; ain't the way you wanted ya life to be…" Colleen looked meekly around the small homestead, "Is it?" she finished dully, having answered her own question.

Michaela, adjusting her gaze between the cup in her hands, the homestead and the girl's expectant face, was, for one of the few times in her life, at a loss for words, "I… don't know what you want me to say, Colleen…"

"The truth… Matthew was right; we don't belong with you," she placed the last dish on the nearby tea towel to dry, wiping her hands in her apron. Still, Colleen wouldn't meet Michaela's gaze.

"Now, I didn't say that; I… I won't pretend that this is how I planned my life… but that doesn't mean I resent what has happened." Michaela realized the cup she still held in her hands was well and truly dry. Placing it on the nearby shelf, she reached for the next one.

"Don't ya wanna get married; have your own children… do things properly, 'stead a… like this…" Colleen weakened the animosity in her tone, this time, genuinely asking.

"No." Michaela answered directly, "'Properly' is never how I wanted my life to be, Colleen. To be honest, I… I consider marriage just another expected attainment. One that I will eventually be required to fulfill." Michaela swallowed, knowing how much pressure her mother had put on her to 'find the right match' and 'raise a family'.

"But ya said ya were engaged… So ya must a wanted it at one point…" Colleen wasn't sure if she was prying, however, got the impression Michaela didn't mind.

"I did. At least I think I did. It is difficult to know whether you want something for yourself, or whether it is merely to please the people who are important to you," Michaela looked back to the empty basin and neatly folded the tea towel in her hands.

"That why ya came out here? So ya didn't have to be pleasin' ya family?" Colleen looked away, seeing the discomfort sweep over Michaela's face. "I… I'm sorry; knew I was pryin'…" she reached for the basin, lifting it from the cupboard.

Michaela watched the girl easily carry the heavy object outside. She heard her empty the dishwater over the small garden, as she straightened the chairs around the table and put the rest of the washed cutlery away.

"Dr. Mike?" Colleen arrived back into the homestead, placing the empty china basin back onto the cupboard.

Michaela looked up.

"All right if I go to bed?" She pursed her lips.

"Of course…" Michaela replied, the young girl turning back towards the curtain which separated the small space, "sleep well," Michaela added, looking to her own bed.

"Thanks…" she whispered, still feeling guilty for her earlier questions.

Michaela turned down her bed, and walked around to her small dressing area. Reaching for the nightgown which hung by the chest of drawers, she looked back to the closed white curtain. Michaela had known this would be an adjustment, however as she held the thin garment in her hand and looked down at the many layers of clothes she was wearing, Michaela knew the practicalities of having taken on three children were only just making themselves known.

She shook her head, looking to the alcove of her dressing area. Tomorrow, she would put a curtain across it and that would be that.

Sighing, Michaela began unbuttoning her white blouse. Draping it over the small table, she reached for the clasp of the maroon skirt, and pushed it to the ground. Checking that the curtain was still closed, she pulled the nightgown over her body, slipped the straps of the chemise from her shoulders, and awkwardly dragged it down to her waist. Allowing the nightgown to fall to her ankles, Michaela modestly rid herself of the bunched up chemise and the rest of her undergarments. Folding them all neatly atop the small table, she looked back to the curtain a final time; still closed. Colleen must be in bed by now.

Michaela crossed around the end of her bed, reaching up to extinguish the lantern. She settled herself between the cool, clean sheets, hearing the distant murmurs of a sleeping child.

Nestling her head down against the pillow, Michaela felt comforted by the knowledge that she wasn't alone. Awkward as it may be at times, Michaela knew it was what she wanted.

Her mind drifted to Charlotte for several moments, hoping she had not let her down. Matthew; she hadn't even said goodnight to him. Michaela shrugged it off, repositioning her head on the pillow until she was more comfortable; he hadn't said goodnight to _her_.

Her eyes dropping closed, Michaela realized she didn't really know much about these children. Had they suffered any childhood illnesses; when were their birthday's? Michaela knew their education was limited. She remembered with a small smile, her undisguised shock when Charlotte informed her there wasn't a school in the small town. It merely reaffirmed to her just how different things were from home.

Her mind filled with unanswerable questions; how was she to provide for the children in the future, if she could not establish some sort of practice; how would she raise them as she thought correct, with morals and values; would they eventually be happy, or merely resent the loss of their mother indefinitely?

Michaela opened her eyes quickly, hearing Colleen cough in her sleep, once again having to remind herself she wasn't alone.

Banishing the rhetorical thoughts from her mind, Michaela forced her eyes shut, pushed a handful of hair back over her shoulder, and felt her breathing slow. In a matter of minutes, the soothing darkness of sleep washed over her and another day of motherhood had passed.


	7. Chapter 7

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**Part 3 – A Love **

_One Day Later_

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**Chapter 7**

"We almost done?" Brian whined, struggling to drag the last bundle of dirty washing out to Michaela and Colleen, who had spent the morning up to their elbows in hot, soapy water.

"That's the last one, Brian," Michaela reassured.

"Where's Matthew, anyway? He helps Ma with this…" The little boy whined as he dropped the armful of linen into the large metal tub.

"Said he was goin' into town… see if Robert E. had a calf for sale…" Colleen informed.

Brian sat down on the top step of the porch as Michaela and Colleen began untangling the immersed clothing.

"What we gonna call him?" Brian spoke up several minutes later.

"What do you mean 'what are we gonna call him?', Brian? It's a _cow_; don't name cows…" Colleen scrubbed a pair of trousers against the wooden board, Michaela wringing out the next item of clothing for her.

"Yeah, but all the horses' got names… Scout, Phantom… Bear… ain't right if the cow don't got one; won't be part a the family…" he hung his head miserably.

Michaela hid her smile as Colleen rolled her eyes, turning to drop the washed item of clothing into the rinsing water.

"Well, then you choose a name…" the young girl gave in, knowing this would keep the little boy occupied for awhile.

"Ahh… um, what… what about… Mr. Bray?" he looked across at them proudly.

"Can't name it after a real person, Brian…" Colleen muttered, beginning on one of her blouses.

"Hmm then…" he tucked his hand under his chin, concentrating, "I know; Malleen… Like you and Matthew… Could call him that?"

"Now you're just bein' silly. Gotta be a proper name; but not anyone ya know…" Colleen placed the second item into the rinsing water, as Michaela, still wearing a knowing smirk on her face, hung out Brian's trousers.

"Ah… John? Mark? Peter? Don't know no-one with those names…" Brian frowned, hearing Michaela start chuckling.

"Dr. Mike?" Colleen shook her head, one hand going to her hip.

"I… I'm sorry," Michaela clasped her right hand over her mouth, swallowing and forcing herself to keep a straight face. "Those… are lovely names, Brian…" she clamped her mouth shut, absorbing the involuntary smile.

"So why ya laughin' at me?" the little boy wandered over to them, pouting.

"Just… ah, sweetheart… usually… a _cow_… is, a female… At least… I was always under the impression that it was…" Michaela glanced to Colleen, the young girl giggling.

"Yeah, ah… they are," she supported, Brian's mouth opening in disappointment.

"So I gotta name it a girl's name?" he looked seriously disappointed by the revelation.

"Well, it might be more appropriate… than, ah… John." Michaela bent over to brush the little boy's arm.

"Does it… have to be a girl cow?" his scrunched up his nose.

Colleen looked down at the wrung out blouse in her hands, a small smile creeping onto her face, as she launched it in her little brother's direction.

"I'm afraid it," Michaela gasped as she saw the wet garment hit Brian squarely in the face, "does…"

"_Aww_… no fair..." he wiped his arms against his face, reaching down to pick up the now muddy item of clothing and throw it back towards his sister.

Michaela saw the hopeless expression in his eyes when he missed considerably.

"_Dr. Mike_," He gestured to the blouse in a heap on the ground, Colleen chuckling confidently.

Michaela, turning her back to Colleen, winked and strode innocently back to 'finish' the washing.

"Did ya see that, Dr. Mike," Colleen grinned proudly.

"Yes, I saw…" Michaela reached for a suitably drenched blouse and lifted it from the water.

"Brian, can't believe you didn't, _ah…!_" the young girl shrieked, Michaela having calmly walked up behind her and draped the saturated clothing over her head.

Brian jumped up and down, laughing uncontrollably, as Colleen's jaw dropped and she pulled the garment from her head.

"Dr. Mike!" she complained, although not particularly bothered; it was a warm day after all.

"I'm… going to regret that, aren't I?" Michaela stepped backwards, cringing.

"Oh yeah…" Colleen nodded, subtly glancing to her left to notice the wooden bucket only a few feet away.

"Yeah, Dr. Mike… ya the only one ain't got wet…" Brian smiled, the gap between his front teeth very prominent.

"Hmm… that's what I'm afraid of," she feigned dread, inching her way closer to Brian, standing behind the little boy for protection.

Colleen shrugged, not bothered, knowing it would wait. "Girl-cows; really Brian. What's so wrong with a girl's name anyway?" she muttered, burying her hands back in the soapy tub.

"Just… icky… that's all. Too many girl's round here anyway… frilly stuff… and sewin'…" he gestured to the array of petticoats and undergarments which surrounded him.

Michaela, still safely positioned behind him, sensed the threat had passed and removed her hands from the little boy's shoulders.

"I hear from your brother, that the barn is nice and masculine, Master Cooper. If that would be more to your liking?" Michaela lowered her voice, exaggerating her prestigious accent even further.

"N-no, Doctor… Mike… ah, hmmm girl's name, girl's name…" Brian chewed on his lower lip, tapping his fingers against the left side of his cheek as he paced around in a small circle.

"Wait 'til we _see_ the cow, Brian… might be easier?" Colleen suggested, rolling her eyes.

He nodded, flicking the straps of his overalls in boredom.

Michaela smiled, looking down at the little boy and pacing back to the rinsing tub, wringing out a pair of trousers. Beginning a gentle hum as she turned to peg them to the line, Colleen glared at her brother, the young girl quickly dashing for the bucket nearby.

Before Michaela had taken two steps from the line, she felt the cool water hit her full in the face, seeping through her hair and down her neck.

"Ahh," Michaela unconsciously let out a strangled gasp, drawing her hands to her face.

"Weren't me, Dr. Mike… promise…" Brian skipped over to her, his voice dissolving into hesitant giggles, not sure whether she was upset or not.

"I _know_ it wasn't you, Brian…" Michaela managed to open her eyes, hands going to her hips, as Colleen placed the bucket back triumphantly on the ground.

"Sorry… ya… ya ain't angry Dr. Mike… are ya?" Colleen brought her right hand to her face, chewing nervously on her index fingernail.

"No, Colleen… no…" Michaela wiped her arms awkwardly on the dry patches of her skirt, throwing her long hair back over her shoulder.

"She got you the best, Dr. Mike…" Brian chuckled louder. He was more confident now that she didn't seem to have a problem with their antics.

"She certainly did, Brian…" Michaela looked up to Colleen, her face breaking out into a huge smile.

As Michaela patted her face with the backs of her hands until it was dryer, Brian looked towards the path, running quickly up the three steps to the porch, to get a better view.

"It's Matthew! Hey… he's got it… he's got it!" the little boy held his hand above his eyes to shield against the sunlight.

"Looks like we're gonna be naming that cow after all," Colleen teased, hastening her pace with the washing.

Michaela watched, intrigued as the eldest Cooper child drove the wagon slowly towards the homestead, a small, light-brown colored calf being walked at a gentle pace beside it.

Hanging out the final pieces of laundry, Michaela dried her hands on her skirt, as Brian ran towards the approaching wagon.

"You got it!" he exclaimed, as Matthew pulled the horses to a halt.

"Sure did, Robert E. said Mr. Harrison were sellin' it… just managed to get there in time." Securing the horses, Matthew jumped down. "Well?" he glanced from Brian, to Michaela and Colleen.

"It's great, Matthew!" Brian affirmed.

"Little on the small side, isn't she?" Colleen folded her arms, studying the calf.

"Yeah, but… only a week old… once we get her fed, sheltered, be fine…" Matthew untied the little calf, walking her over to Brian. "Well?" he shrugged, deliberately in Michaela's direction.

"Don't look at me… from where I'm standing she has four legs, looks fine." Michaela frowned, approaching the calf to inspect her mouth, nose, eyes and ears. "Her mouth looks good, ears are nicely colored, nose and eyes look clean," Michaela finished, patting the small animal on the neck as Brian stroked its head.

"So… it's a girl then?" he muttered, lowering his eyes in disappointment.

"What did ya think it'd be, silly?" Matthew shook his head.

"I… was hopin' for a boy," Brian replied honestly.

"Brian… all cows are _girls_, otherwise wouldn't be no use…" Matthew began walking the little calf across the yard towards the barn.

"Oh… well I still get to name her, don't I?" he perked up immediately, running after his brother.

"Guess so; ain't never named a cow before…" Matthew waited whilst Brian opened the heavy door for him.

Colleen and Michaela watched as the boys maneuvered the obedient little animal inside. "Kinda… cute, I guess," Colleen observed, as the boys and the calf disappeared into the barn.

"Hmm… she certainly had a lovely, smooth coat…" Michaela added gesturing to the large metal tub, which they then emptied.

"There. Sure feels good to get that done." Colleen dusted her hands against her apron. "Mind if I go finish some readin'?"

Michaela propped the tub up against the side of the homestead, "No, go ahead, Colleen…" she looked towards the ajar barn door, "You're not interested in Brian naming this calf?" Michaela smiled, gesturing in the direction of the barn.

"Not… really. If I know my brother, won't be hearin' 'bout nothin' else for the next week any way… Wanna finish the chapter 'fore have to start lunch," Colleen justified.

Michaela nodded, "Very well," and the young girl went inside.

Cleaning up the washing area, placing the wooden bucket back beside the tub, Michaela then made her way to the barn, slipping quietly inside to watch the boys settle the little creature in.

"See… this is ya home, now… Just like us. We're gonna take real good care a ya…" Brian kept his voice soothing, as Matthew unbundled some hay and scattered it around the stall.

"Brian, it's a cow… ain't a pet dog," Matthew reasoned gruffly, noticing Michaela in the doorway behind them.

"Well, ain't got a dog," the little boy encouraged the calf onto the freshly laid hay.

Michaela came up beside him to watch, "What are you going to name her, Brian?" she smiled, expecting Matthew to react coldly.

"I… dunno. You said I can't name it after a person… and I don't know any girl names that aren't girls…" Brian continued, still stroking the animal's nose and neck alternatively.

"Matthew?" Michaela turned as Matthew walked across towards the door.

"Gotta get some water and stuff," he muttered, leaving Brian and Michaela alone with the calf.

"Hmm… I'm afraid I'm not very good with names, sweetheart. I suppose you could call it… Daisy… is that a good name for a cow?" Michaela bent down to crouch by Brian's side. She watched as he delicately played with the animal.

"I don't like that… everyone'd use that… Want somethin' that describes her…" he frowned, staring the calf directly in the eye. "Hmm,"

"Well, she is brown… a lovely pale brown… and she has beautiful deep brown eyes." Michaela studied her eyes, "How about… Chestnut?" she suggested.

"It's… all right, but… I dunno… sounds like a horse," Brian scrunched up his nose, as Matthew paced back into the small barn.

"Here…" he reached between Brian and Michaela, the thick collar and cowbell in his right hand.

"What's that for?" Brian objected, as Matthew secured the heavy buckle around the small calf's neck.

"So we can find her… cost fifteen dollars, ain't about to let her go wanderin' off…" He frowned, noticing that the collar was too bulky for the young calf.

"Aww, she don't like it, Matthew… take it off…" Brian pleaded, looking to Michaela for support.

"No way," he refused, tying a thick piece of rope to the collar.

"Really, Matthew, it does look… a little large for the poor thing… Perhaps, in a few months, she'll be big enough for a bell and collar…" Michaela rationalized, seeing Brian's face light up.

"Bell! Can we call her that, Dr. Mike? Can we? Please… please?" the little boy grabbed her arm, happily.

"She's not mine, sweetheart. Matthew bought her…" Michaela gestured across the stall, where Matthew had just finished securing the calf to a post.

"Matthew?" Brian asked, his voice thin.

"What do I care what you name a cow…" He shook his head, tired from the slow wagon ride.

"Bell, then… but… Matthew?" Brian looked up, "she still gotta _wear_ the bell?"

His eyebrows narrowed, considering Michaela's objection. "Nah, s'ppose she is too young… not big enough yet to do any damage out here... on her own. But, Brian, you gotta promise to make sure to keep the chickens outa here. Ya promise?"

"I promise… thanks, Matthew!" Brian leant forwards to wrap his arms tightly around the calf's neck, nuzzling his nose against her warm skin. "Do ya like that, Bell?"

"Brian… did you know that Belle is actually French for beautiful?" Michaela tapped his shoulder, smiling softly.

"It is?" He pulled away, intrigued, "Coz she is…" he patted Belle's head, Matthew rolling his eyes, but unable to hide the amused smile.

"Come on, help me get some food and water set up for 'Belle'," he chuckled, putting a lilt in his voice as he said her name.

"Sure…" Brian agreed, patting the calf a final time, before getting to his feet and running after his older brother.

Michaela waited until the boys had left, before pulling herself to her feet, again hearing her knees crack.

"I'm getting too old for this… aren't I, Belle?" she smiled down at the small, innocent looking animal, before pacing across the barn and back towards the homestead to help Colleen with lunch. There was something she needed to speak with Matthew about also, however, that could wait until a more convenient time.

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"Colleen?" Michaela called out through the partially opened curtain.

The young girl looked up contently from her book, "Yeah?"

"I made some sandwiches for lunch," Michaela placed the large serving plate in the middle of the table.

"Oh, thanks, Dr. Mike. I'll call the boys…" she replied, closing her book and moving quickly to the back door to call Matthew and Brian.

"Thank-you," Michaela replied, as Colleen pushed open the curtain and arrived beside the table.

"Sorry… I… didn't know what time it was; meant to come help ya." Colleen reached for the stack of small plates, helping Michaela to finish setting the table.

"Oh, that's fine, Colleen. You must have been enjoying your reading…" Michaela glanced up smiling.

"Kinda… was just history," she defused, with a shrug.

"Colleen… there isn't a school here, is there?" Michaela launched into the new subject, as they both took their seats either side of the square table.

"Not yet; the Reverend's tryin' to organize to get a schoolhouse built, but ain't no money… and not many families all that interested." Colleen shrugged, hearing the boys come in through the back door.

"Did your mother teach you to read?" Michaela spoke in a hushed tone, as Matthew and Brian noisily took their seats, still talking about the new arrival.

Colleen merely nodded, not wanting to compete with her brothers.

"Is Belle all nicely settled in?" Michaela turned to Brian who had taken the seat next to her.

"Uh-huh," the little boy reached for a roast beef sandwich, stuffing it hungrily into his mouth, continuing to talk between bites, "Reckon she really likes it with us."

"Belle?" Colleen addressed Brian, finding it sweet that her little brother had actually named the cow.

"Yeah… like cowbell, only Dr. Mike said it meant beautiful," he dropped the crusts to his plate, reaching for the next sandwich.

Lunch continued with Brian talking about how he planned to train the cow to perform an array of impossible tricks, Colleen, Michaela and Matthew humoring him, with subtle glances being exchanged between them. Brian was going to learn very quickly, that cows, no matter how well they are raised, do not follow instructions.

Colleen offered to clean away the lunch dishes, Matthew muttering a polite 'Thank-you," before heading for the back door.

"Matthew, wait…" Michaela followed swiftly after him, closing the door behind her, as he turned around.

"What?" the young man, his head lowered, murmured.

"I… wanted to let you know… I, I don't expect for you to pay for the calf yourself…" Michaela spoke hesitantly, seeing the discomfort on Matthew's face.

"Don't start…" he interjected, Michaela surprising him by cutting him off, sharply.

"Matthew, this must stop, now. I do not blame you for your hostility toward me, however, the reality of the situation is, whether you like it or not, I will be the one responsible for your sister and brother, until they come of age. That goes for you also, until your sixteenth birthday." Michaela drew a breath, not realizing how direct her tone had been. "Regardless of how you feel about me, we have to live together, so you will need to just accept that, and, as I will be the one supporting this family, that will include that calf." Michaela paused long enough to see if Matthew would protest further.

He merely swallowed, all of his energy being utilized to just keep looking at her.

"Now; you said the calf was fifteen dollars. Here," Michaela reached into the pocket of her apron, already having prepared herself for the awkward conversation.

"I… Dr. Mike…" Matthew looked down at his feet, uncomfortable.

"Please, Matthew…" she repeated, her voice softer this time.

"Thing is," Matthew secured his thumbs around the insides of his suspenders, embarrassed, "Ain't… exactly _paid_ Mr. Harrison for it yet. Said," he coughed, his confidence building, "Said I'd work it off… needs some fences put up… cattle moved…"

Michaela nodded, hesitating long enough to think through a different approach. "Is… that what you would like, Matthew?" she questioned, knowing he didn't expect such a response.

"What d'ya mean?" the young man dropped his hands from his suspenders, sucking in his lower lip nervously.

"Well… if you would _prefer_ to work for Mr. Harrison… then… I wouldn't have a problem with that. Is… that what you would have done… if your mother," Michaela kept her gaze intently upon him.

"Yeah…" Matthew eventually replied, looking up weakly.

"Matthew… I don't want to take over, that is not my intention. I only want to honor my promise to your mother… to help her finish a task that she has begun so beautifully. If, I… am making you uncomfortable, I'd appreciate it if you would talk about it with me…" Michaela watched as Matthew gradually took in her words, coming to his own understanding.

"You mean… I ain't gotta pay Mr. Harrison? Can just work it off, like we arranged?" Matthew clarified. A hint of pride able to be heard in his voice.

"That's right." Michaela reassured, "Just as you arranged." She knew they were no longer talking about the issue of money. He didn't want to feel mothered; as if control had been taken away from him since his mother's death.

"I'd… like that. Thank-thanks…" He blinked several times, very awkwardly, fighting the emotional battle between knowing and wanting to dislike her, however, in his heart, not being able to.

"I'm glad we were able to discuss this." Michaela slipped the money back into her apron, relieved it had not been as difficult as she'd feared. About to turn, she waited, seeing a new expression come to Matthew's face. One of loathing and rejection had gradually melded into distant respect.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

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**_One Day Later_**

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After a more successful breakfast of hot biscuits, scrambled eggs and bacon, Michaela and the children set off for town. Surprised at how quickly they had established a routine, Michaela suggested a morning of shopping and was pleased when no-one, especially Matthew, objected.

She had thought she'd survived the past four days fairly well, after coming to an understanding with Matthew the night before. Although, after having to sort out numerous, petty disagreements between Colleen and Brian, Michaela found herself reminded of just why she had not wished to rush into motherhood.

"Brian, don't touch me!" Colleen squealed, automatically slapping the little boy's hand as he tried to tickle her once again.

"_Colleen!_" Michaela retorted, not realizing her voice had come out so harshly until even Brian froze.

"He wouldn't quit, Dr. Mike…" the young girl whined.

"Was only playin'…" Brian defended, almost with a twinkle of mischief in his eye.

"Colleen, that is still not an excuse to hit your brother. Would your mother have allowed that?" Michaela turned awkwardly in the front of the wagon, trying to address the younger children.

"What do ya mean?" Colleen scowled, frustrated at having been the one picked on.

"Well, would your mother have condoned you physically hurting your brother in retaliation?" Michaela raised an eyebrow, Colleen looking from Brian back to her slowly.

"No…" she shrugged, "sorry…" she apologized to the little boy.

"Thank-you," Michaela nodded, turning back around.

She had just settled her hands in her lap when Colleen called out to her again.

"Dr. Miiikkeeee… he won't stop!" she whined, her voice even higher-pitched this time.

Michaela sighed, only turning her head around this time, "Brian, are you annoying your sister?" she questioned, keeping her voice calm.

"No…" he denied innocently.

"You are so, don't lie… he's lyin'!" Colleen poked him angrily in the arm.

"Ow!" Brian complained, Michaela sighing audibly this time.

"Brian, I want you to sit there, with your hands in your pockets, until we get into town. Colleen, don't talk to your brother for the rest of the journey," Michaela shook her head and turned back a final time as she saw the approaching buildings.

"Ignore 'em, Dr. Mike… always doin' stuff like that…" Matthew spoke quietly several moments later.

"I draw the line at physical violence," she replied, knowing she was going to need some advice on what would undoubtedly be similar situations to come.

The remainder of the wagon ride passed by in relative silence, Michaela decided she would resort to the one person who might possibly be of some use, "Dear Mother," the composition of the letter began in her mind. "I know that in the past… I was unresponsive to your wish that I learn more about child-rearing. However, a certain… turn of events has, reversed my attitude… and I would appreciate any and all advice on the subject…" she finished the letter in her head, realizing she would need to explain the specific details of the 'turn of events' or her mother would arrive in feverish panic within a matter of weeks.

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The little boy stared down at the shards of glass interspersed with colored pieces of candy.

Pacing around in small circles, he looked back to Matthew, Dr. Mike and Colleen, all of whom were absorbed in their shopping.

"I'll be right back," Michaela announced, reaching for her medical bag and pacing out onto the porch headed towards the telegraph office.

Colleen frowned, watching Michaela hurry quickly from the store. Glancing over to her little brother, she ran over to him just in time.

"Careful, Brian! Don't touch the glass…" Colleen pulled back on his arm, the little boy biting his lower lip, her outburst having scared him a little.

"Well, then how I gonna clean it up… Dr. Mike's gonna be more mad then…" he creased his little brow even harder, looking angrily in the direction she had just left from.

"Here… get a dustpan," she looked around, spying one on a nearby countertop. "And here… use the broom…" Colleen handed both the cleaning implements to Brian, the little boy struggling to coordinate the two.

"Why'd she make me do this… told her I couldn't…" he grumbled, awkwardly pushing bits of candy into the dustpan.

"I dunno… maybe, coz you did disobey Mr. Bray," Colleen found herself defending Dr. Mike's discipline. "You're doin' good so far…" she encouraged.

"Still hate her… she don't like me…" he looked down at the full dustpan, unsure of what to do next.

"That ain't true, Brian. Here… now go empty it in the bin…" Colleen gestured across the room, as Matthew watched on from a distance, pretending to be looking at farming tools.

It took half a dozen or so repetitions, not made any easy by Mr. Bray lurking over the little boy's shoulder every few minutes, but eventually, Brian managed to clean all the broken glass and spilt candy from the jar.

"See. Weren't so bad, was it?" Colleen rested her arm around his shoulders, Matthew coming up behind them.

"Was so… weren't my fault, didn't mean it…" he set his jaw firm, his mouth tightly closed.

"I know, Brian… but 'least it's all cleaned up now…" Matthew patted his brother's back supportively. Brian had done the right thing.

The little boy shrugged, refusing to lighten his fowl mood on principle.

"Ya finished the shoppin' Colleen?" Matthew asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah…" she glanced around, Michaela being nowhere in sight. "Wonder where Dr. Mike went to."

"She was headin' over the telegraph office, musta just got held up," he reasoned, "May as well wait outside…"

Colleen nodded, Matthew taking the box of supplies from the countertop. All three children walked out towards the wagon, which was outside the front of the boarding house.

"Guess just better wait," Colleen shrugged, perching herself on the side step of the large wagon.

Brian stuck his hands in his pockets, scuffing his feet around the dusty ground, "Why we gotta wait for her… she was mean to me…" the little boy grumbled.

"Hush up," Matthew ordered, turning around sharply when he heard the sound of breaking glass coming from the Saloon.

"What was that?" Colleen looked up.

"Prob'ly just some drunk… ya know what Hank's is like… just another fight." Matthew shrugged, climbing up onto the wagon and securing the horses' reins.

Colleen nodded, her attention going back to Brian, thinking nothing more of it. The little boy sat down, still miserable. Compassionately, Colleen stroked his shoulder.

"Dr. Mike?" Matthew baulked, having kept his gaze loosely on the front of the saloon, never having expected Michaela to appear through the doorway. She was noticeably flushed and running frantically towards the wagon, medical bag clutched in her right hand, her olive cape draped over her left arm. And what was Sully doing there?

"Get in the wagon," Michaela commanded, her breathing forced and voice strained.

Matthew slid over to the right side of the bench, looking around as Michaela threw her medical bag and cape under the seat.

Brian was the first to obey her order, standing up and hurriedly stepping over the side to get in. He wasn't about to give her any excuse to tell him off again.

"Brian cleaned up the candy real good," Colleen stood, a confused expression on her face, not having picked up on the desperation in Michaela's voice.

"Come on," Michaela spoke again, Colleen quickening her pace, as Michaela climbed awkwardly up beside Matthew.

"Thank-you…" Michaela reached across to get Sully's attention. He turned, still on the alert for further trouble, managing to briefly catch her hand as Matthew pulled the horses into a frenzied trot.

Colleen frowned, noticing the blood on Sully's lip as the wagon moved away from him.

Michaela kept her gaze on Sully, trying to make sense of what had just been a very traumatic thirty seconds.

_How did he know where I was? What if he hadn't of been then… what would…_ She shook her head, looking to Matthew hoping to drop the matter.

"What was all that about?" Matthew turned to Michaela, once she had caught her breath, just turning off the main street.

"Nothing," Michaela looked away, forcing herself to focus on the jostling countryside.

"Sure as hell didn't look like nothin'," Matthew exclaimed, surprised that he was feeling concerned.

"_Matthew_," Michaela reprimanded, the young man fobbing her off.

"There a fight at Hank's?" he asked, slowing the horses down, once he realized the threat had passed.

"Yes," Michaela tightened her jaw, turning around to check on the children.

"Ya all right?" he continued, his voice even more sincere this time.

"Fine," Michaela muttered, meeting eyes with a worried Colleen.

"We got worried… heard glass smashin' and people yellin'. Didn't think it was you…" the little girl leant forwards, her hands resting on the front seat.

"There's no need; everything is fine," Michaela reassured, although still able to feel her heart racing in the left side of her chest.

"What were ya even doin' in there… coulda told ya, the only women go into Hank's, are… well, just ain't the sorta place ladies set foot in." Matthew phrased awkwardly.

"So I realized," Michaela raised her eyebrows, still able to smell the putrid remnants of liquor and stale tobacco smoke.

"Did Mr. Sully get in a fight?" Colleen poked her head between Michaela and Matthew's shoulders, Brian still contently sulking in the back.

Michaela nodded uncomfortably, the little girl looking to her brother for help, "Why?" she questioned innocently.

Looking down at her hands still clasped tightly to the sides of her skirt, Michaela shook her head, as if to downplay the significance of what had happened, "One of the… girls… Myra, needed to see me; the bartender was not impressed by my diagnosis… and matters escalated," Michaela concluded, considering that to be ample explanation for three relatively young children.

Matthew felt his chest tighten, slowing the horses as they began the journey back to the homestead. "Well, for Sully to end up hurtin' anybody… musta had a good reason," the young man considered, Michaela becoming visibly distressed by the conversation.

"Matthew, I would prefer it if you not give me the third degree. Suffice it to say, the situation became a little out of hand, fortunately, Mr. Sully arrived when he did…" Michaela tightened her jaw, loathing the fact that she had placed herself in danger, having required another person's assistance.

Matthew heeded her words, and they continued driving for several more minutes in silence.

Michaela sighed, turning around to look between Colleen and Brian, realizing the little boy hadn't spoken to her. Inadvertently meeting eyes, Brian shifted his gaze, looking out at the countryside.

"Brian?" Michaela addressed, the little boy only strengthening his determination to not answer her.

"He cleaned up the candy, Dr. Mike…" Colleen repeated, trying to stick up for her brother.

"Good," Michaela responded, turning back to face the front.

Matthew, still concerned that she hadn't been completely honest with him regarding the events at Hank's, glanced from Dr. Mike to his sister, and then back to the reins in his hands.

The rest of the journey was completed in silence.

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"Night, Dr. Mike…" Colleen came out from behind the closed curtain, having just prepared for bed.

"Oh, Goodnight, Colleen," Michaela looked up from the rocking chair, a heavy medical book in her lap. "Brian gone to sleep already?" Michaela frowned, realizing that the little boy had disappeared very quickly after supper and had not said a word to her.

"Yeah… think… think he's still mad," she spoke quietly, her left hand resting on the edge of the curtain.

"With me?" Michaela questioned, her tone lowered.

Colleen nodded regrettably. "He's just like that sometimes… likes to sulk, he'll come around…" she smiled weakly, turning back towards her bed.

"Thank-you, Colleen," Michaela whispered.

"'Night," the young girl repeated, closing the curtain and settling down to sleep.

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_**One Day Later**_

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Matthew woke up to the sound of a shrill, worried call.

"Brian!" he recognized Michaela's voice immediately; it had been closer on the second call. Something must be wrong.

Matthew slipped the suspenders over his shoulders, and had just finished pulling the cuffs of his trousers down over the tops of his boots, when the barn door opened.

"Brian!" Michaela called, her voice rising in pitch as she desperately scanned the barn for any sign of the little boy.

"What's goin' on?" Matthew looked down to see the top of Michaela's head.

Michaela, slightly out of breath from her frantic run across the yard, glanced up at him. All the while the raw fear was building in her chest.

"Brian's run away," she exclaimed, running across to reach for Bear's reins.

Matthew wasted no time in climbing down the ladder, "I'll get the horses," he stated Michaela interjecting at once.

"I want you to stay here and look after Colleen," she turned to address the young man, as she moved towards Bear.

"I'm not gonna stay here," he dismissed her immediately, arriving beside the horse.

"Just do as I say Matthew," Michaela replied. Her voice had softened enough to make her request sound less threatening.

He watched in silence as she quickly harnessed and saddled Bear.

"Where ya gonna start?" Matthew finally asked, as she mounted the horse.

"I'm… not exactly certain; I'll find him though," Michaela reassured, settling herself into the saddle.

"You'll be careful, won't ya? Ain't… all that safe out there on ya own…" Matthew looked her up and down, Michaela turned to look at him, surprised at the concern in his voice.

"I will," she nodded convincingly, as the young man opened the barn doors.

Matthew could only watch in slightly dazed disbelief, as Michaela pushed the horse immediately into a canter.

As he watched the horse travel away from the homestead, Colleen arrived at his side. Slipping his right arm around her back, Matthew looked between his little sister and the large horse gradually fading from view.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice still hoarse from sleeping.

"Dr. Mike said Brian's run away. Gonna go get him." Matthew looked down at her, both walking back towards the homestead.

"Where?" Colleen muttered, as they arrived inside.

"Dunno… said she'd find him." Matthew shrugged, seeing the worry in Colleen's eyes.

"Then she will. Dr. Mike ain't gonna break a promise." The little girl nodded, more to reassure herself than to strengthen her words.

"Ya all right? How 'bout… I help ya with breakfast; take ya mind off Brian," Matthew suggested, reaching for a saucepan which hung next to the stove.

Colleen merely shrugged, slowly buttoning up her dressing gown and going over to help him.

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"Still no sign?" Colleen looked down at the barely touched food on the plate in front of her.

"Nothin'," Matthew replied, squinting through the front window, fighting the dwindling sunlight to see clearly.

"Maybe… ya oughta go out? After all, if she was gonna find him, woulda done so by now…" the little girl reasoned.

"Ain't leavin' you here all alone. Wouldn't know where to start lookin' anyway." Matthew turned away from the window, pacing back towards the table.

"Reckon something's happened?" Colleen lowered her head, fidgeting with the cutlery on the plate.

"Don't go thinkin' that," Matthew stopped, realizing there was no other explanation.

"She coulda fallen; got lost, renegades coulda got her… she could be hurt," Colleen's mind began to race with possibilities.

"Colleen, I know. But there's nothing I can do. She didn't want me goin' with her," Matthew took his seat as Colleen cut him off.

"But if she's hurt… then, she could die out there; they both could." Colleen reached across to take his plate, Matthew looking her deliberately in the eye.

"I know. And I'm as worried as you are. But would be useless me goin' out in the dark. They'll be all right one night out there… I'll go into town first thing… get a search party formed. Never know, might be back by then anyway…" Matthew watched as Colleen took the two plates over to the basin, scraped them off, and hastily began washing them.

"You're right…" she stated, making an effort to stop her voice from shaking, "be back by mornin'," Colleen distracted herself in finishing the dishes and cleaning up.

Both prepared for an early night, Matthew electing to sleep in Brian's bed, not wanting to leave Colleen alone in her distressed state.

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**_One Day Later_**

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Colleen awoke to the sound of a rooster crowing.

"Matthew?" she wiped her eyes and looked towards the bed beside her. It was empty, but there was a note on the pillow,

"_Gone into town to get a search party together. Wait here,_" Colleen read quickly, before rising from her bed and dressing.

She had paced around the homestead in silence for over ten minutes before she heard the approaching horses.

Running to the window, the young girl almost expected to see Dr. Mike with Brian approaching, however, lowered her head when she saw the half a dozen or so horses and two wagons.

Matthew, Loren, Jake, the Reverend and several other townspeople and their wives arrived within minutes, Colleen at least having some company whilst the men went back out to search.

"Don't worry honey, we'll find 'em…" Mr. Bray reassured, as he quickly led the group of horses away from the homestead.

Colleen and the other townswomen watched them leave, before turning and making their way inside the small homestead.

"How long she been gone?" Mrs. Harrison, a young brunette asked, as the group of women took seats around the table.

"Over a day. We don't know when Brian left though. Musta been real early yesterday mornin'." Colleen pulled the corner of her mouth into a worried pout.

"There, there, sweetheart. Now, don't you worry, the men'll find 'em; bring 'em home…" Maude comforted, stroking the girl's arm, as another woman boiled some water for tea.

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The little boy weakly brought his right hand up to wipe the freshly cried tears that had trickled silently down his cheeks.

_Ma? Ma…. I'm sorry, Ma…_ He pleaded once again to himself, believing that if he begged hard enough, maybe he would be found.

_Please don't let the wolves get me… I just wanna go home…_

Brian tightened his little hands into two small fists, feeling the aching pain in his right leg. Blinking, so as to clear his vision of tears, he looked around the side of the cliff once again.

_I promise… I'll be real good. Won't never run away again…_

Climbing down that morning had been relatively easy. But after no more than several adventurous steps, Brian had lost his footing and slid many yards down the loose, uneven embankment.

"Help, help me… someone?" he called out, his voice small with fear and tiredness.

He dropped his eyes closed, again not receiving any reply. Biting down firmly on his lower lip, Brian momentarily considering trying to climb back up the mountain on his own, however, after moving his right leg only several inches, the young boy knew it was impossible.

The pain of his injured leg shot through his little body, powerful enough to provoke fresh tears.

"I'm sorry…" he whimpered, not realizing his pleas were audible… "Ma… please don't let me die… please…"

Brian sobbed hopelessly for several minutes, until his throat was dry and his nose clogged. Closing his eyes, he tried to picture his mother. Maybe if he tried hard enough, she would save him.

Maybe…

"Brian!"

The distant sound of a voice drew the little boy from his desperate thoughts. He blinked several times, as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Brian!" the female voice repeated.

The young boy looked up, swallowing until he managed to find his voice.

"Dr. Mike?" he turned his head in the direction of the sound, squinting through the dirt and tears which covered his face.

The frantic pulsing of his heart began to subside.

"Don't worry, we're gonna get you," Michaela shouted, as she looked between Sully and the dangerous looking slope of the mountain.

_Thank-you, God…_

Brian closed his eyes for several seconds, still able to picture Dr. Mike's face, as she gasped down, petrifying by his small body lying prostrate against the muddy surroundings.

Opening his eyes again, Brian watched, intrigued as Sully began his determined trek down towards him.

_Everything was going to be all right; he was going 'home'._

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"It's gettin' late…" Colleen paced around the side of the wooden table, checking the clock on the mantelpiece.

"Only three, sweetheart; still got plenty a light left…" Maude rose from the chair, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder in comfort.

"But he can't spend another night out there… what if they're both lost…" Colleen absent-mindedly nibbled on her thumbnail, her head sinking miserably.

"Ssh… here… sit down… stop frettin'," Maude directed the girl towards the chair she had just risen from, as several townswomen turned simultaneously at the sound of approaching horses.

"Is that…?" Colleen's head shot up, as she too, heard the unmistakable commotion of running horses.

"Can't see nothin' for the dust; must be them…" Mrs. Harrison muttered, having gone to the window.

Colleen, Maude Bray closely behind her, ran towards the front door, throwing it open in her haste to confirm the identity of the approaching party.

"Brian? Dr. Mike!" the young girl called, hands gripped to each side of her skirt. She blinked several times, until finally she caught a glimpse of Michaela's long, albeit matted, hair, on the final horse.

Loren and Jake were the first to slow their horses, Colleen unable to fight the suspense rising from her stomach any longer.

"Did you find him?" she ran to Mr. Bray's large, black horse, resting her hands against the side of the saddle.

"Back there…" Loren muttered gruffly; it had been a very long, tiring day.

"Silly boy wound up stuck on a mountain," he continued, although by that time, Colleen had dodged the oncoming horses until she arrived next to Sully, Wolf loyally by his side.

"He all right?" the little girl bit her lower lip, as her eyes settled on the small body of her drowsy younger brother.

Michaela nodded, awkwardly holding the child across her lap on the large horse, Sully's red blanket draped around him. "He will be. His leg is broken, but that'll heal…" she smiled weakly, seeing the petrified look spread over Colleen's face.

"Good," Colleen nodded, her voice void of emotion. Suddenly, all her worry and fear melded into exhaustion. "Matthew?" she looked around, realizing he hadn't been in the convoy.

"Should be comin' right behind us…" Sully gestured to the narrow path that led from the main road. "Here…" he handed Colleen Bear's reigns and moved around to the side of the horse, carefully lifting Brian from Michaela's arms.

"Brian?" Colleen tilted her head, leaning closer when she realized his eyes were softly shut.

"I gave him something to help him sleep." Michaela saw the questioning look on the girl's face.

"Oh…" she nodded, her distressed glare fading.

"Might you… take him inside, we'll settle him into bed…" Michaela brushed Sully's arm awkwardly, oblivious to the idle chatter around them.

"Sure," Sully maneuvered through the intrigued crowd, Colleen by his side.

Michaela sighed, glancing down at the pale blue skirt she was wearing. She noticed the smears of dirt and slightly frayed edges.

"The boy all right then?" Jake Slicker had approached her tentatively, having gained somewhat more respect for the headstrong lady doctor these last few weeks.

"He seems to be… apart from the fracture to his right femur," Michaela, her jaw still dropped, quickly clarified her summary in response to Jake's blank stare, "apart from his broken leg…" she clasped her hands in front of her, looking down to realize she still had one of Matthew's old jackets over the top of nothing but her nightgown.

_Mother would die of shame if she knew…_

Michaela dismissed the slightly humored thought immediately, and for the first time, allowed relief at the little boy's rescue to consume her.

"Now ya know was mighty foolish, woman like yourself traipsing all 'round these parts on her own…" Jake launched into the condescending speech, however, after seeing the exhaustion across Michaela's face, and the smudges of dirt over her hands and clothing, quickly concluded his statement, "but… glad the boy's all right." He smiled curtly, Michaela taking a moment to interpret his change of heart.

"Why, thank-you, Mr. Slicker…" she nodded.

Fortunately, at that moment, the sound of the final horse galloping towards them could be heard.

As she turned around to verify the identity of the rider, Michaela smiled unknowingly as Matthew arrived by the homestead.

"Brian?" Matthew dismounted his horse, addressing Michaela instantly.

"He's inside… is everything all right, Matthew? I thought you were right behind us?" Michaela looked the young man up and down for a moment, as the small gathering of townspeople slowly began to dissipate.

"I was…" Matthew avoided her glare, instead starting to lead Scout towards the barn. "Gonna go put Bear away," he muttered, moving away from her and through the crowd.

"Guess we might as well all call it a day… things seem to be all under control," Loren took charge of the remaining couples, directing everyone to their horses or wagons.

Michaela remained silent, merely nodding as several townswomen came over to check on her.

Remaining on the porch until the final wagon had commenced moving, Michaela slipped back inside, to find Colleen and Sully hovering around Brian's bedside.

"Didn't even budge, Dr. Mike… musta been exhausted," Colleen smoothed her little brother's hair over his forehead, the boy's brow twitching slightly in response to her touch.

"It's best if he sleeps… he should wake in a few hours," Michaela moved to Colleen's side to check the little boy's leg, before straightening the quilt over his body and turning back towards the table.

"Can I sit with him?" Colleen looked up, her intense worry over the past day having drained her.

"Of course," Michaela nodded, reaching for the folded red blanket on the corner of Brian's bed.

She pulled the curtain across and paced back to the side of the table.

"Anythin' ya need me to do?" Sully folded his arms across his chest, watching as Michaela barely knew what to do with herself.

"I, ah… no," she whispered, her professional detachment finally beginning to dissolve, "thank-you," she finished curtly, handing him his blanket back.

Sully frowned, watching as her hands gripped the back of the wooden chair.

"Ya all right?" his eyes narrowed, seeing Michaela swallow and look away uncomfortably. "Brian's all right ain't he?"

She looked up at him immediately, "Oh, oh yes… fine." She reassured and looked around the small cabin. Shock having settled in, Michaela barely recognized her surroundings.

"Ya all right?" Sully took a step closer towards her, seeing her knuckles begin to turn white against the dark wood of the chair.

She looked up to realize he'd moved closer towards her. "Of course," she muttered, pulling her hands away from the chair.

Sully watched as she made her way towards the ajar door behind her.

"Where ya goin'?" he frowned, as she disappeared onto the porch.

Michaela shrugged him off, descending the steps, "I'll need to plaster Brian's leg once he wakes up," she paused, realizing she needed to be more succinct with him. "Mr. Sully… I.. wanted to thank-you for your help… again…" she blushed slightly, looking away.

"Again?" he crossed the porch, his right hand clutching the pole in the corner. "Oh… oh, was nothin'," he smiled.

Michaela looked up slowly, "You seem to have a skill for intervening in potentially perilous situations…" Michaela trailed off, seeing the confusion on his face.

"Oh, ya mean… the other day… at Hank's?" Sully tried to hide his fascination at her excessive vocabulary.

"Yes… and last night. Before I saw you… I… I was," she stammered awkwardly, quickly finishing her sentence briskly, "well the events one hears of…" Michaela fidgeted with the buttons of the jacket in front of her.

"Ain't most of 'em true…" Sully reassured her, having just worked out what she meant. Why she had to talk in such a cryptic manner still baffled him.

"I'm not so sure they trusted me, until you spoke in my defense." Michaela hadn't realized the physical distance between them had reduced until she felt his hand on her upper arm.

"Still, wouldn't a hurt ya… but I understand ya bein' scared. Ya not now though, are ya?" Sully removed his hand, worried she may have considered the gesture inappropriate.

"No, I'm not. Thank-you," she repeated.

"Well, ya welcome," he smiled once again, adjusting the hat on his head and repositioning the blanket in his arm.

Michaela watched him beckon the wolf to his side, and make his way slowly from view.

Distracted by the sound of the barn door opening, she saw Matthew come out.

The young man's eyes met with Michaela's for barely an instant, before he pulled them away and scuffed unevenly over to the large barrel of water by the barn door.

Michaela arrived next to him, watching as he slowly filled a bucket.

"Thank-you for putting Bear away for me," she muttered, reaching for a nearby empty bucket herself.

"No problem." Matthew cleared his throat, the splashing of water being the only sound audible for several moments.

Michaela was about to move closer to the barrel, expecting Matthew to stand back with the full bucket, when he simply dropped his head downwards, the freshly filled water running back into the barrel.

"Thank… thank-you… Dr. Mike," he eyes remained glued to the lapping water below, his voice hushed.

Michaela suspected, although was unsure of the basis of his apology.

"You said you'd get him back… and ya did…" Matthew finished, slowly turning his head to lock eyes with her.

Michaela hesitantly reached over to grasp the boy's left wrist. "We're a family, Matthew," she saw the apprehension creep onto his face. "Even though it doesn't feel like it just yet… it will, in time."

Matthew studied her quiet, yet confident expression silently for several seconds. "I… don't understand… You ain't known us more than a couple a months… don't understand why ya'd go out there… risk ya life… for some silly little kid ya barely know…" Matthew finished.

Despite his words, Michaela knew his confusion was genuine. She considered her answer, whilst he refilled his bucket of water for the horses.

"Honestly, Matthew… I had the same fears when your mother asked me to take charge of you. That feels like weeks ago now… so much has happened," she gestured to their surroundings.

"So what changed?" The young man stepped away from the barrel, still curious as to her response.

"You; all of you… Seeing you together. Seeing how strong you've all been throughout this past week. Your mother was my best friend, Matthew. And each day since she's been gone… I've seen her in all of you." Michaela looked down into the sparkling water below. "And somehow in that… she's always here…"

It was now Matthew who stood silently as Michaela filled the wooden bucket.

He waited until she turned back towards the side door leading to the homestead before he responded, "For what it's worth… I think comin' out here was right, Dr. Mike…" Matthew adjusted the bucket in his hands.

Michaela turned slightly.

"I think you were right 'bout us needin' a fresh start. Had we a stayed in town…. Woulda just been… empty… full a memories… We ain't never lived in town without Ma… woulda been like you were replacin' her…" Matthew distracted himself kicking a small stone with his right foot.

"That is the last thing I wanted, Matthew. I could never be the mother Charlotte was… I'm too selfish…" Michaela disclosed honestly.

"I don't think that. You've got guts, Dr. Mike. Doubt Ma woulda taken off like you did yesterday… Colleen, Colleen was right… she said ya cared for us…" he focused all his energy on moving the pebble around at his feet.

"She was right, Matthew," Michaela smiled softly, receiving, in the words he spoke, glimpses of the man she knew Matthew would become.

"I'm sorry I doubted that…" he turned away and without another word passing between them, headed back for the barn.

Michaela allowed her gaze to linger on the young man until he disappeared from view. Feeling a fresh wave of hope flood over her, she pushed open the back door, and returned inside to plaster Brian's fractured leg.


End file.
